Saturday, May 12, 2012

Happiness comes to those that wait

Now I know that I haven't quite finished my story about being a young Mom and the struggles I went through being a young Mom to my boy... and in time, I am sure the words will come to me and I can finish the story but for now, I have a new story to share with you... my second pregnancy 14 years after the birth of my son... how exciting is that!?  Even more exciting is that my baby is due on David's 15th birthday.

I am the first to admit that I was the biggest nay sayer when people asked if I was ever going to have any more children, you could hear me saying things like, "why would I start all over again now?" or "one is enough!" and it wasn't until I met Clayton that I reconsidered my decision.  It turns out that it wasn't that I didn't want more children, it was that I didn't have the right person to share the joy of more children with and I sure as hell wasn't doing it alone again!

I met Clayton a little over a year ago at a party and fell madly in love with him the moment we met.  It's a disgusting story that people (including me) would say never happens to anyone but for us, it is real and it forever changed my opinion about meeting that one person that you will "just know" when you meet them.  He walked into the party and was preparing an appy that he had brought, I couldn't stop myself from going over and introducing myself, it was like a magnet sucking me in... haha... cheesy but true story!  From that moment on the connection was so strong between us that people at the party that didn't know us thought we were a couple, it was a strange moment in my life.  I had just spent a few fabulous days in Vegas on a "single girls" trip and was feeling pretty good about being single and wouldn't you know it, single-ness ended that weekend I met Clayton.  I still say for all you single women (and men) out there, you have to love yourself and be happy with yourself before you ever love anyone else, these things really happen!  We saw each other everyday until I left for a 24 day trip to Nova Scotia to spend Christmas holidays with my family.  We spoke to each other every day through text, and we would call each other once in a while.  The love was strong between us, even in the early days.  I returned home and we resumed seeing each other every day... he would come see me at work, then come see me after work, I would hang out with his dogs while he was at work, he would eventually move in with David to stay with him while I was away in Victoria training for my new job as a social worker, then he and the dogs officially moved in with us.  It wasn't long after that we were trying for a baby... a very exciting adventure to start yet another new chapter in life.

So now here I am, 22 weeks pregnant with my second baby.  14 years after the first... wow... it's pretty amazing how much you forget about growing a little person in your body, mind you... if we think back, I had just found out I was pregnant with David 3 weeks ago and it was still sinking in.  I don't know how I didn't know, my body must have been very different then because the first few months of this pregnancy made it very obvious that I was pregnant.  I couldn't BELIEVE how tired I was, all I wanted to do was sleep... thinking back to David, I am pretty sure that's all I did then too when I wasn't out partying.  I wasn't sick, but didn't have an appetite and actually lost about 12 pounds in the first few months.  Then I got a sinus infection that lasted a month, then the headaches... oh my god the headaches were the worst.  Crazy how much your body changes over time.  Around 17 weeks I started to feel better, sinus infection went away, headaches eventually subsided and my appetite came back, though I still can't have hamburgers or any meat that is just by itself.  I caught a cold last week and that is slowly making it's way out too.

We just had our second ultrasound and baby is growing wonderfully, he/she is healthy and happy, we don't want to find out the gender because we are looking forward to one of the only surprises left in natural life.  People try to guess based on heart rates, the way my belly sits, etc but I don't really know... it changes from day to day whether I think it's a girl or a boy.  Turns out they didn't want us to know anyway because the ultrasound technician said baby was covering his or her mid parts for the whole scan.

I think it is mind blowing that we female humans can grow another human inside our body and how quickly it turns from a tiny little cell into a baby... totally amazing don't you think!?  Mind you there are days that I am feeling anxious and wanting baby to come out already, but then I take a few deep breaths and try to enjoy the process.  I can't wait until he or she is born, I am so excited to be able to focus on my family for once and be able to enjoy pregnancy and our baby, this is why they tell you to wait when you are younger, this is what my brother was talking about when I was pregnant with David.  Like anything else in life, you need to be in a stable place mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically (and financially helps but not necessarily) to truly enjoy things that come your way, and I am so so looking forward to this.  David is a huge part of my journey though, obviously if it wasn't for him, I may not have gotten the motivation to get my ass in gear and I did enjoy his childhood, but I was also juggling going back to high school, university and trying to find my place in this big world while trying to be the best mother I could be to him.  It wasn't until a few years ago when I was able to slow down with the career building and be in a place that we were comfortable to just be, be with each other, enjoy our time together and enjoy our time apart.  David is an amazing young man, I am very lucky to have him in my life and he is the most solid piece of evidence I have that things really happen for a reason.  He is going to be a great big brother and great helper for Mom.  Clayton will be an amazing father, I know this because he already is to David and I am just tickled pink to be so lucky to have David, Clayton and this new little one in my life... happiness really does come to those that wait...

All my relations :)