tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23623774190285416932024-03-14T10:41:51.404-07:00My Journey HomeA single Mother's journey to hope, happiness and loveLaureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-21646680354279730492018-04-26T11:58:00.001-07:002018-04-26T11:58:19.479-07:00The Aquarium<div>
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"Mommy, I miss Nana"<div>
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My 3 year old told me he missed his Nana today on the way to preschool and asked to go see the fish in her room. I broke down, usually I can handle this and tell him I miss her too. I tell him even though she is gone to the spirit world, that she is always with us. That he can talk to her anytime he wants and she will hear him.</div>
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The fish he was referring to are the ones in the aquarium at the cancer clinic. The cancer clinic is a bright room that overlooks a courtyard in the middle of the hospital, when you walk through the acute care wing, you turn down the hallway on the right and arrive to a big room on the left. When you walk in the first thing you notice is a fish aquarium that sits underneath the wall of windows straight ahead, there is a chair for family members on either side of the tank. There are fish in there swimming about, back and forth, back and forth. </div>
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On your immediate left is the nurses desk, a kind chemotherapy nurse is there. Waiting for the next patient to arrive. There are 4 big patient chairs in the room, each with their own IV stand beside them. Two on the left side of the room, two on the right. The IV stands hold bags of medicine with a UV protection bag covering them-that's the chemotherapy medicine. The tubes from the bags run down the stand and into the arm or chest of the patient in the chair. Just beyond the chairs on the right was a patient bathroom. I hate hospitals, but this room's bright light and being able to see greenery outside made it tolerable. The energy in there though, punched you in the gut when you walked through the door.</div>
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When I brought my Mom to this room for the first time, it was just her and I. She had just healed from her surgery that implanted a port-o-cath just beneath her skin on the right side of her chest. This was for easier and quicker access to the main vein for chemotherapy delivery. The nurse directed her to her chair and explained the process to her and I. I watched my Mom intently as she listened to the nurse's instructions and made sure she understood. She had already lost her hair from 5 days straight of full brain radiation three weeks earlier and was wearing her favorite green toque to match her pale green sweater and colorful flowery scarf. Mom always loved to dress up nice when she left the house, going to a chemotherapy appointment was no different. Between the brain tumor and the radiation of her brain, Mom sometimes had a hard time remembering things so I made sure I was listening too. Mom smiled and agreed with everything Nurse Faith was saying, my gosh she was so beautiful. </div>
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Despite the circumstances, Mom made sure she was always friendly and smiling. Being a nurse for 40 years, she had a soft spot for other nurses. She treated everyone with such kindness and respect. Another Nurse Leah inserted a needle into Mom's port-o-cath and couldn't quite get through the skin, she was being gentle. Faith came over to help and popped the needle through Mom's skin and she didn't even flinch, she looked at me flinching and told me it didn't hurt. Mom didn't want me to worry about her at all. The other three seats were occupied with patients either dozing off or reading a book. I smiled at all of them, but I couldn't help but feel sorry that they were there, that we were there. As Mom settled into her chair and the drip began slowly entering her body through her chest, I looked to her for comfort when I should have been providing her comfort. She smiled and I fake smiled back. I looked at the fish, they swam back and forth, back and forth. </div>
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A memory from my childhood flashed through my mind. We were in Florida, December 1989. It was the year our family and another family went to Disney World and Florida keys for Christmas. I was 10, my brothers 15 and 18. We drove there from Nova Scotia, my Dad never flew us anywhere that he could drive to, even if it meant driving through snow storms all along the Eastern seaboard. I am sure Mom probably freaked out a few times on the way down. We spent four days in Disney then moved from a hotel to a condo in Key Largo, it was Christmas time and I don't remember much of that trip except for the fish. There was a canal between rows of houses and condos. Every property had water access for boats. The condo sat on stilts, carport underneath and just behind the carport was an in ground swimming pool. Around the swimming pool you could walk down some stairs and you would be standing over the water on a wooden dock, or was it a wharf? I don't know the difference. I remember standing there, in awe, of all of the beautifully colored fish swimming around in the crystal clear water. There were blue fish, purple fish, yellow fish, orange and white fish. Just swimming about, back and forth, back and forth. </div>
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I was feeling pretty happy in that moment, remembering our family together. I was brought back to the chemotherapy dripping into my Mom's chest. She had her eyes closed now and I could only imagine what she was thinking about. I know she was so hopeful that she would get better. I wanted to be hopeful too but my intuition was preparing me for the worst.</div>
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(to be continued...) </div>
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Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-84466829073312070292014-10-07T21:52:00.000-07:002014-10-07T23:28:19.579-07:00Baby, Pirates and Grads.Hi! Well I see it's been a whole year since my last post... I have sat down six times in the last year to post and left it unfinished every time... life just kind of takes over sometimes and you have little time to yourself, then when you do have a moment, it is fleeting and sitting down not thinking is the best way to unwind. My apologies to those that had been following my blog.<br />
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I am happy to say that since my last post, we conceived, carried and had another baby boy. His name is Chase Joseph George Bennett and he is the sweetest little baby boy (aside from my other boys when they were babies...lol) that I have ever met! So yes, if you have been keeping count... that's three boys for us! So at 35 years old with three boys ages 17, 2 and 3 months I am also happy to say that I am done having babies... I am still open to adoption of a girl if the opportunity came up one day however, at this time we are not pursuing that avenue. I am off on a maternity leave until next June and well there are some exciting things in our future but I am not ready to share with the world, just yet. Let's just say there are big changes coming for us and I hope you will enjoy the journey with us!<br />
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Hunter just turned two and we had a pirate themed birthday party for him and his buddies. I am going to write another blog about that one because I am just so happy with how everything turned out. Hunter is a very sweet little boy who has alot of energy and keeps us all on our toes as any toddler should. He loves his brothers and his Daddy to pieces, he likes his mom alot too but ever since his little brother came along, he definitely has gravitated toward his Dad. He talks all day long and is starting to make sense of his words and getting so big and tall!<br />
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David started grade 12 this year and I am so excited for him to be on the homestretch heading toward graduation and ending his high school journey. He will not yet be 18 when he graduates next year and I am so proud of him considering that it took me an extra couple years after my 18th birthday to graduate high school. He has plans for college too, taking a trade of some sort, but he isn't sure what yet. He works two days a week this year making some extra cash and gaining hours toward his apprenticeship. When I think about seeing him graduate this year, I tear up. I am going to be a basketcase, I can guarantee it.<br />
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Anyway, that's the quick update... I am off to watch a movie with David and his friends. I hope (fingers crossed) to come back and keep up with the writing as it is something that I love to do... when I have time.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitHlds8ERvIb55NYkUnmJcC1mJ8ompWVq2s2gXVxdqfeWISb5GlK-xtT5R-zM6RivtV1Tu-23SgQsqUP-ldD5zgOP-ecQ-WWvldFJXmQ7NfL6ZZyVnle3eJFYkKchCVTxQyNQOcUI3aivO/s1600/Hunter2-111-Edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitHlds8ERvIb55NYkUnmJcC1mJ8ompWVq2s2gXVxdqfeWISb5GlK-xtT5R-zM6RivtV1Tu-23SgQsqUP-ldD5zgOP-ecQ-WWvldFJXmQ7NfL6ZZyVnle3eJFYkKchCVTxQyNQOcUI3aivO/s1600/Hunter2-111-Edit.jpg" height="200" width="142" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgegnjp8tW_Iw72R2zRyyKHJBNWTRd3raQQ9Md8XrFzM_XQIKWmcQMWXb5VXXQbh-eJysvNfMmgSOvvVY93bg9mNGr-bbxZKkiHbFlMvXVp_iwCjjv4r64s0fOKzxgZnKuU9WWrDt4NbRG7/s1600/100+mile_Huntersbirthday+251.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgegnjp8tW_Iw72R2zRyyKHJBNWTRd3raQQ9Md8XrFzM_XQIKWmcQMWXb5VXXQbh-eJysvNfMmgSOvvVY93bg9mNGr-bbxZKkiHbFlMvXVp_iwCjjv4r64s0fOKzxgZnKuU9WWrDt4NbRG7/s1600/100+mile_Huntersbirthday+251.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a>Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-27911104481753635632013-09-08T22:01:00.000-07:002013-09-08T22:01:09.987-07:00Everything happens for a reason... right?Thanks everyone who was following my journey in the peaceful parenting challenge... unfortunately the last month has been a little more than one person can handle and I wasn't able to find some time to participate in the challenges let alone blog about it. There are many things I learned from the challenge that I will take with me and implement as I move forward in my life as not only a mother to two beautiful boys or partner to one very kind, caring, amazing, handsome man but also a strong Aboriginal woman.<br />
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I am a very strong independent Aboriginal woman that has overcome many challenges in my life and I am sure there will be many more to come. I have been blessed with many positives in the last few years and my journey has been amazing. Recently, the strength I carry has been put to the test and I am left wondering what lesson I am being taught.</div>
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Two weeks ago, my third pregnancy ended suddenly overnight... </div>
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I had just found out I was pregnant two weeks before that, we were so excited but also a bit nervous because Hunter was only 10 months old, which meant he would only be around 18 months old when his sibling arrived. Over the next two weeks we had talked ourselves into the fact that yes it would be busy and stressful at times but it would be worth it when they are a little older and become friends that do everything together. We thought it would be so much fun for Hunter to have someone to grow up with because Clayton and I both have siblings that we grew up with and are close to and David always felt that he was missing something when he was growing up not having a brother or sister. </div>
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The first thing people say to you when this is happening to you is how common it is. Yes, it is common... from what I am told one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, which is fairly common. However, knowing this does not help ease the sadness, confusion and feelings of inadequacy that you feel when you go through this, at least it didn't for me. I grieved for my little tiny sweet pea as if it was a full grown baby, thoughts of what may have been take over your mind and you are not able to focus on anything but this for a while. I had to work through feelings of sadness and tears. Then guilt thinking that I did something wrong; am I under too much stress, did we try too soon? Then anger because I let myself get so excited about it and maybe I shouldn't have. Then confusion wondering if I will ever be able to get pregnant again. Then defeat not knowing if I will ever be able to go through this again. Then I felt a little self conscious that I was being silly about something so common. Finally I started to accept that this happens and it doesn't mean it will happen again and that I can't have another baby. As you can see there were many emotions that I went through and no matter what I felt or why I felt them, they are my emotions and there is nothing wrong with them. How I dealt with it is how I deal and everyone deals with things differently. Don't ever be afraid to feel what you feel and don't be afraid to say how you feel... nobody can judge you for your feelings. I am thankful for having Clayton in my life everyday but definitely through situations like this, I couldn't ask for a more caring and understanding partner who rearranged his schedule the day of to be with me and took me out to take my mind off of it. He always seems to know exactly what he needs to do, he's gifted that way.</div>
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So what lesson am I being taught here? My belief is everything happens for a reason, so what is the reason for this? The reasons are not always clear why something happens to us in the immediate, however in the future days, weeks, months or years... the reason always shows up. This always helps me when working through a difficult situation. Perhaps our loss will help someone reading this through a difficult time they are having... I know for sure that it was not for nothing.</div>
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Our little angel would have been born around Easter... my thoughts were that it was going to be a girl even though I was scared to death to have a girl because I didn't want her to be like I was growing up but I know one thing for sure, I could have taught her to be a very strong, independent Aboriginal woman... I gave her a name and prayed for her return back to the spirit world, a place that I don't totally understand but someone told me that her spirit will be first in line the next time. I hope this is true.</div>
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Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-18666304814508078512013-08-22T13:43:00.000-07:002013-08-22T22:58:15.350-07:00Watch your language!<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Welcome to the Peaceful Parenting Challenge Blog Carnival: Week #7-Watch Your Language</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">This post was written for inclusion in the </span></i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/194377624058103/?context=create" target="_blank"><i>10 Week Peaceful Parenting Challenge</i></a><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"> Blog Carnival hosted by </span></i><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" target="_blank"><i>Prenatal to Parenting</i></a><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">. This week our participants have written about using positive language with others. We hope you enjoy this week’s posts and consider joining us next week when we share about a week of unplugging. </span></i><br />
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It is a well known fact that if you change your language from negative to a positive it has more impact than if you say it negatively. Negative language can cause defensiveness in the person you are speaking to and this communication can be halted quite quickly because of it.<br />
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This week's focus was on positive language, I recognize that my communication with my teenager can be quite difficult because his negative manner of speaking affects me and my responses which causes defensiveness in him and we get into a place where neither of us are listening to each other. I find our relationship building opportunities are quite limited because he, much like his mother was at his age, spends alot of time with his friends rather than being at home. When he is at home, he can often be heard saying, "its so boring here" or, "there's nothing to do in this house" and the like. Usually these comments make me say things like, "Life is what you make it!" or "You wouldn't have liked where I grew up!". This week I tried really hard to have positive conversations with my teen that did not turn into bickering back and forth. David is my first child and as you know it was just he and I for alot of years before Clayton and then Hunter came into our lives. I always say that David and I grew up together, I am only 18 years older than him, some people's siblings are only 18 years older or younger than them and we often get mistaken for brother and sister (it doesn't help he is way taller than me). We are alike in many ways and I love him more than he will ever know but there are many times that I don't like what he says or how he says things and this causes me to say things that he doesn't like... so who needs to change their language? Me of course! I am the parent.<br />
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Teenage brains are weird, as I have talked about in an earlier post; adolescent brains are immature in the decision making and logic department which cause many decisions to be made based on impulse and emotions. I continuously have to remind myself this when interacting with him and not freak out when he is telling me about something he has done that is less than appropriate. Let's not forget he is also a boy... boys tend to not think about consequences at all before they act. So, I try my hardest not to get angry with him, instead appreciating the fact that he is honest, open and shares everything with me when either he wants to because he thinks its funny or I ask him what he's been up to. One area of contension is when he fails to check in with me when he is out. Usually if it has been a while, I immediately get upset and send him a "where the heck are you?" or "if your not going to check in, get your ass home now!" message to which he always responds with "Sorry, I am with so and so". I feel sorry is tossed around too much, you aren't really sorry if you do it over and over again, so I will carry on to say "Don't tell me you are sorry, show me you are sorry by not doing it again!" This week, I tried something different... when he failed to check in, I sent him a text and said, "How are you doing?" and when he answered I told him it was great to hear from him and I get scared and upset when he hasn't checked in for a while because I worry that he is hurt or lost. I tried to have him understand why I get angry, instead of just getting angry. Guess what, he has been checking in more regularly these days. Just one easy positive step can make changes for the better! When Mama bear is not angry, David bear is not angry and everyone gets along. <br />
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I feel that I could definitely benefit from watching my language, especially around my teen, but also with my entire family. I will continue to work on changing the way to communicate with my family.<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i>Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:</i></b><b><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"></span></i></b></span><br />
<a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/2013/08/tips-for-makin%E2%80%A6our-childs-day/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Tips for making the Positive Comments outweigh the negative in your child’s day</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> -Sarah from </span><a href="https://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Prenatal to Parenting</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">shares a startling stat and asks for your help in changing the numbers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"><a href="http://blog.theconnectionweshare.com/parenting-toddlers/how-to-talk-to-your-kids" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">How to talk to your kids</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> – Amy from </span><a href="http://blog.theconnectionweshare.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Connection We Share</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">discovers the power of using positive language with your kids. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"><a href="http://www.strocel.com/watch-your-words/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Watch Your Words</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">- Amber from </span><a href="http://www.strocel.com/watch-your-words/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Strocel.com</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">feels better about her parenting when she’s using more positive language.</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"><a href="http://www.kalemphoto.com/the-power-of-words-peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-7" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Power of Words - Peaceful Parenting Challenge Week 7</span></a></span><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> - Katrina from </span><a href="http://kalemphoto.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Kalem Photography</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> is trying to figure out positive phrasing for some things she’d like her 2 year old to stop doing. <span style="color: #333333;"></span></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"><a href="http://babysignlanguagewithstickyhands.blogspot.com/2013/08/week-7-watch-your-language.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Week 7 - Watch Your Language!–</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> Amanda from </span><a href="http://www.babysignsprogram.com/withstickyhands/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sticky Hands</span></a><span style="font-family: inherit;">suggests we start saying out loud things you love and things you want to happen.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/08/language-and-distractions-peaceful.html" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">Language and Distractions- Peaceful Parenting Challenge: Week 7</span></a></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"> -</span><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal;">Kathryn from </span><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal;"><a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-1.html" target="_blank">Curiosity and the Kat</a> </span></span></span><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">is a bit distracted.</span> </span>Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-72152994208335885752013-08-16T08:44:00.003-07:002013-08-16T08:44:30.271-07:00Positive Transitions<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Welcome to the Peaceful Parenting Challenge Blog Carnival: Week #6 – Developing Positive Self-Talk </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">This post was written for inclusion in the </span></i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/194377624058103/?context=create" target="_blank"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">10 Week Peaceful Parenting Challenge</span></i></a><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"> Blog Carnival hosted by </span></i><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" target="_blank"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Prenatal to Parenting</span></i></a><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">. This week our participants have written about Developing Positive Self-Talk. We hope you enjoy this week’s posts and consider joining us next week when we share about a week of Watching Our Language.</span></i><br />
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Well this week I returned to work and since I am a child protection social worker who has been off on maternity leave for 14 months, I definitely needed more positive self talk, which is what this week's challenge was about. You know that little annoying voice in your head that runs a commentary for everything you do in your life? The one that is not always positive and can sometimes be negative, bringing you down. The more you change this commentary to positive, the better things will get. Try it! It can be something as simple as looking in the mirror in the morning and instead of thinking about what you hate about yourself, tell yourself how beautiful you are. Every morning I have woken up early enough to have 15 minutes to sit and listen to some positive affirmations and meditate. This has definitely supported my transition back to work in a healthy way.<br />
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The transition so far has not been as difficult as I had anticipated. Leaving Hunter at home with Daddy sure makes things easier on me, knowing Hunter is with one of his favorite peeps who has the same parenting style as me makes me worry less about him for sure. The drive to work has been good, it is still summer traffic so it seems to be better than when September hits and kids go back to school. I am back to enjoying my morning show on the radio and giggling at the conversations. I had a couple of boxes of stuff that I had stored over the last 14 months so I was able to get an office, unpack my stuff and make it my own space again; organized and comfortable with soft lighting. It is important to make your space comfortable, especially since you spend so much time there. My computer and phone was set up, got a new work cell phone. Everything has been falling into place, I am taking over another social worker's caseload and she is easing me into it with a couple transfer meetings per day to introduce me to her families. Things have been going good, I still feel like my knowledge that I accumulated prior to going on a leave is all jumbled up in my head somewhere and has to come out in order for me to do my job to the standard that I hold for myself. It is not easy work and it requires organization, patience, time management, self care, compassion, empathy, assertiveness and knowledge. I feel like the first seven skills required are a given and I have them at the ready when needed... it's the knowledge that I know I have but like I said, I am having a hard time bringing it back. </div>
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So, I have been gentle with myself and allowing myself the time needed for it to come back, I cannot expect it to be back the first week I go to work. Thus, positive self talk has been coming quite in handy this week. I have done this before, I have done it well and I can do it well again. I WILL do it well. I know what I am doing, I have to give it time and it will all come back.<br />
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Emotions can cause you think negatively about your parenting skills; I remember when David was young, I was also young and people around me inadvertantly (or at times advertantly) made me feel like I was a bad mom, so I remember constantly feeling guilty because I was a bad mom. My age and maturity level did not allow me to process criticism as a positive thing or the people that criticized me didn't know how to do it positively, either way it was a challenge. Truth is, I was the best mom I knew how to be given the circumstances I was in and other people's judgements are their own. It took me a long time to learn this important lesson. Some people felt that I should know what to do I guess and I really didn't. I had to learn how to be a mother and for alot of people, this does not come naturally to them so I had to learn that this is ok. Learning positive self talk back then would have helped me take the criticisms better, fight away the guilt and would have supported me in a much better way while I learned how to care for my boy as we grew up together.<br />
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Being a full time working mom can be daunting but for me working all day has made me appreciate the shorter amount of time I have with my kids in the evening and want to make sure the time spent with them is quality time. A positive short time with them is better than a long negative time any day. </div>
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<strong><em>Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:</em></strong><br />
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<a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/2013/08/affirmations/" target="_blank">Affirmations</a><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">– Sarah from </span><a href="https://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";">Prenatal to Parenting</span></a><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif";"> turns anger into Peaceful Parenting Affirmations for herself.</span><br />
<a href="http://childrensdirectory.net/2013/08/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-6-developing-positive-self-talk" target="_blank">Week #6- developing Positive Self Talk</a>– Jennifer from <a href="http://networkedblogs.com/NKwaM" target="_blank">Children’s Directory </a>says yes every day for a year.<br />
<a href="http://www.kalemphoto.com/positive-self-talk-peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-6" target="_blank">Positive Self Talk – Peaceful Parenting Challenge – Week 6</a> - Katrina from <a href="http://kalemphoto.com/" target="_blank">Kalem Photography</a> has been developing positive self-talk for about 30 years. <br />
<a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/parenting/positive-self-talk/" target="_blank">Positive Self-Talk</a><i> </i>– Ricky from <a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/" target="_blank">Daddy Blogger</a> is feeling more comfortable with this week’s challenge. <br />
<a href="http://babysignlanguagewithstickyhands.blogspot.com/2013/08/week-6-positive-self-talk.html" target="_blank">Week 6 - Positive Self Talk</a>– Amanda from <a href="http://www.babysignsprogram.com/withstickyhands/" target="_blank">Sticky Hands</a> practices positive self-talk out loud for the benefit of her most important audience. <br />
<a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/08/peaceful-parenting-week-6-i-am-not.html" target="_blank">Peaceful Parenting: Week 6 - I am NOT an Independent Woman ... and that is okay.-</a>Kathryn from <a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-1.html" target="_blank">Curiosity and the Kat</a> reminds herself it’s ok to ask for help.<br />
<a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/i-am-a-good-mother/" target="_blank">I am a good mother</a> – Michelle from <a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/2013/08/15/i-am-a-good-mother/" target="_blank">My Peaceful Parenting</a> praises herself when she doesn’t lose it.</div>
Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-23991881465023441142013-08-09T09:25:00.004-07:002013-08-09T09:25:39.947-07:00Being present can bring great gifts.<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">Welcome to the Peaceful Parenting Challenge Blog Carnival: Week #5 – Practicing Presence</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">This post was written for inclusion in the </span></i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/194377624058103/?context=create" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">10 Week Peaceful Parenting Challenge</span></i></a><i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;"> Blog Carnival hosted by </span></i><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">Prenatal to Parenting</span></i></a><i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">. This week our participants have written about Practicing Presence.. We hope you enjoy this week’s posts and consider joining us next week when we share about a week of Developing Positive Self-Talk.</span></i></div>
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This week was definitely a challenge, being present in the moment was hard for me as this is my last week at home. As difficult as it was, I can say on several occasions, I successfully stopped thinking about things that I have to get done and faced my partner or children when they were talking to me or wanting my attention but I still have tons of work to do to be present. <br />
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I can remember a few months back when Hunter started to become more aware of his surroundings before he could sit up or roll over, I vowed to put the cell phone away while he was awake. I had gotten into the habit of browsing the internet or Facebook while breastfeeding when he was super little, this habit has been hard to break. I also played a lot of scrabble on Facebook every chance I could get to play a word or two. Then, I read an article about children being fascinated in what we are fascinated in, if our faces are always in our phones or computers, then of course the kids are going to want to see and touch them as well. I didn't want to be that Mom that was so busy watching her phone or computer that she wasn't seeing the greatness in her kids. So most of the time, I do leave my phone away from me so I am not constantly looking at it but I still have trouble putting it down if someone has texted me or sent me an email and if I open Facebook, well that is 5 to 10 minutes I will never get back. All of those can wait, especially when the baby is sitting right here in front of me, talking to me, crawling around, pointing at things, making endless facial expressions, standing on his own, etc. So many things happen so quickly when they are babies, they learn something new everyday and if I am busy in my own little world, I will miss it. I missed a lot of things with David when he was little because I was so busy trying to make a life for us as well as maintain a social life, I have great memories of when he was a young boy and things we did together but memories from when he was a baby and a toddler are few and far between. David is a teenager now and chooses when he wants to talk to me. Often times is when I am busy with his brother but I will stop what I am doing and make time for him because even though he doesn't care to interact with us as often as he used to, what he has to say is important, and its important I pay attention.<br />
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One way that we have always managed to do in my family is to sit down together at dinner time and chat about the day we had, what was good about it and what wasn't so good. Hunter learned to chew early, way before he had teeth, he would sit in his high chair and watch us talk and eat our dinner. Babies learn a lot from watching us so its important to role model good behaviors. Sitting down and connecting with one another in our busy lives is super important to me and Clayton, we both come from families where sitting down to eat a meal together is a necessity and definitely an opportunity to be present with your family. Another way we connect is taking short walks together, without the cell phone, around the neighborhood, enjoying the sights and saying hello to neighbors. We have no choice but to be present with each other while we walk. <br />
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This challenge has taught me that while we do have regular, daily opportunities to be present... I still have some work to do to be present, stay present and enjoy the little things in life especially now that I am going back to work and my time with my family will be cut quite a bit shorter now. I promise to work hard, especially in the coming weeks during my transition to work; to meditate, to breathe, to be mindful, to be present, to enjoy the little things and not get caught up on the to do list. A happy home is not judged by the cleanliness of the inside, the mounds of laundry, the dishes in the kitchen or the mess of the endless yard work outside. It is judged by the happiness of the people who live there. So why are we worrying about these things that are never ever finished? Get to it when you get to it. <span style="font-family: inherit;">"<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 20px;">If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying."-Dale Carnegie</span></span><br />
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If we are present, we can enjoy the gifts presence brings us.<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><i>Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:</i></b><b><i></i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/2013/08/sweet-sleepy-time/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Sweet Sleepy Time</a>– Sarah from <a href="https://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Prenatal to Parenting</a> realizes that by focusing on all the things that she 'could' be doing she was missing out on what she 'was' doing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://childrensdirectory.net/week-5-practicing-presence" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Week 5 Practicing Presence </a>– Jennifer from <a href="http://networkedblogs.com/NKwaM" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Children’s Directory </a>finds it’s easier to practice presence when there is no Wi-Fi available.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.kalemphoto.com/being-present-peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-5" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Being Present – Peaceful Parenting Challenge – Week 5 </a> - Katrina from <a href="http://kalemphoto.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Kalem Photography</a> learns to listen not only with her ears but also with her heart.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/parenting/practicing-presence/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Practicing Presence</a><i> </i>– Ricky from <a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Daddy Blogger</a> has a wonderful time waiting for the ferry.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://babysignlanguagewithstickyhands.blogspot.com/2013/08/week-5-remain-present.html" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Week 5 - Remain present</a> – Amanda from <a href="http://www.babysignsprogram.com/withstickyhands/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Sticky Hands</a> has got this presence thing nailed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/08/kick-pants-week-5-listen-up-will-you.html" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">KICK THE PANTS! - WEEK 5-- LISTEN UP WILL YOU?</a> - Kathryn from <a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-1.html" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Curiosity and the Kat</a> finds it ironic that she’s learned all this before.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><a href="http://www.strocel.com/doing-one-thing-at-a-time/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Doing One Thing At A Time</a> – Amber from <a href="http://www.strocel.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Strocle.com </a>is looking for tips on how to stop multi-tasking.</span></div>
Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-38149947550939520952013-08-04T22:33:00.003-07:002013-08-04T22:34:19.921-07:00Mama says good bye to staying at home and checks back into full time social work... Well as some of you may know, I am going back to work a month early after being off for 14 months, 10 of those months spent with my beautiful baby boy. So I return to work in a week. Yikes. I am sure that many moms go through several emotions about returning to work after spending a year at home with a new baby some of the emotions I have felt have been fear, sadness, anxiety, panic, envy, guilt, excitement and happiness to name a few... I have been rotating through all of these emotions over the last month and then it's been a little more intense when I verbally agreed to go back with my manager.<br />
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I am a child protection social worker, and was still very green in my job when I left to have a baby. I had only been doing it for 16 months and I still felt like I was learning something new everyday. Someone told me once that it takes about 3 years to feel like you really have it under your belt and yet another person told me that the average "lifespan" of a child protection social worker is 18 months... so while I was nearing the end of the average lifespan when I left, I didn't feel like I was ready to pack it in. Now, after being off for 14 months I am afraid I won't know how to do my job, I am hoping it comes back to me quickly. Many things have changed while I was away, people have come and gone, new team leaders, new managers, it will almost be like starting a new job. </div>
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I worry about my little man and how he will adjust but kids always fare better than their parents don't they? They are so resilient and strong, we could learn a thing or two from children... who just roll with whatever is happening. I don't think we do our children any favors by protecting them from changes, afterall change is the only for sure thing in life, right? It's best they get to know change early because if they don't, they won't have the skills needed to deal with it when it does happen. I feel sad that I will miss things, he changes so quickly and everyday he does something new and I don't want to miss anything... and selfishly, I want to be the first person to witness the new things being his mom and all. I know this is unrealistic... but it's how I feel.</div>
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Once I work through these emotions, which I keep having to do over and over and probably will take some time to get used to being back at work and the transition from being a stay at home mom to full time working mom. The part that makes me feel good about going back early is that Daddy will be home with him during the days during the most crucial time of transition, the first couple weeks to a month. Then he will transition to Granny and a friend who will sit for us two days a week. I think in the long run, he will learn how to adjust quickly and be well rounded because of it. That's always a good skill to have.</div>
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Some things that also help me is to think about; the 20-45 minute drive to and from work by myself to listen to my music as loud as I want, being able to talk to adults for long periods of time without interruptions, taking breaks when I need them, being able to eat... slowly and enjoy it, running errands on my breaks without worrying about packing a diaper bag... haha... seriously? Who I am kidding, I'm a social worker! LOL! Being a social worker can be tough to do any of those things above but taking care of yourself if an important aspect of the job so I do try hard to slow down, take breaks, enjoy the company of my coworkers and get out of the building when needed. Other important positives that I remind myself of are being able to learn and practice culture and traditions again, supporting others be the best parents they can be, visiting families and all the cute little kiddies and working with community to ensure children are happy and safe :) I do love my job and I am excited to go back. The best part will be coming home and seeing my own family and appreciating them for who they are.</div>
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I am sure many moms go through all of these emotions when returning to work and work through them in their own way. I know I will miss being home and life will get a whole lot busier but it will all be worth it I am sure. Wish me luck!</div>
Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-51128597355777790212013-08-02T08:48:00.000-07:002013-08-02T08:48:29.139-07:00Slow and Steady wins... <div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">Welcome to the Peaceful Parenting Challenge Blog Carnival: Week #4 – Slow Down</span></i></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif;">
<i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">This post was written for inclusion in the </span></i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/194377624058103/?context=create" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">10 Week Peaceful Parenting Challenge</span></i></a><i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;"> Blog Carnival hosted by </span></i><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">Prenatal to Parenting</span></i></a><i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;">. This week our participants have written about Slowing Down. We hope you enjoy this week’s posts and consider joining us next week when we share about a week of Practicing Presence.</span></i></div>
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Have you ever tried slowing down? It is difficult to slow down because we have been conditioned by society to hurry up. Technology has us wanting instant gratification like no other generation has ever wanted it. It used to be great to have to wait for something, that is where the excitement in life came from... but nowadays you hardly ever have to wait for anything and if you do... it gets frustrating every minute you have to wait! Imagine... waiting... waiting.... waiting.... waiting... waiting... for this page to load, you would probably close it and open it again trying to get it to load quicker and if that didn't work you would likely just walk away and go do something else while you wait or just not even read it at all... even when you go to the coffee shop or the grocery store you have an expectation that the baristas or check out person is going to be quick... because don't they know you are in a rush to get home and rush some more? I have found visiting small towns over the years that have a significantly slower rate of production be it the grocery store or coffee shop or Walmart even! It wasn't until I visited these places that I realized we were all in a rush... and what for? Why are we rushing through life? What are we in such a rush for? To die? Seriously doesn't that just scare the shit out of you when you really think about it? I am in a hurry all the time... for nothing. Time has us locked into some kind of tornado of minutes and hours where we are bound by the tick tock of the clock.<br />
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Time to slow down, this week I consciously tried slowing down my day... I would get down on the floor with my baby and enjoy the world minute by painstaking minute, playing with him and seeing the world from his perspective. It was ridiculously difficult for me to sit and enjoy these small moments in time with him when there is so much to do around the house... but seriously... none of that matters, when he wants my attention, he is what matters. Twice this week I took my boys out for a car ride, we would just pack up and go for a ride to see what adventures would find us. On several occasions my boys, 15 years apart but very close in their hearts, were caught enjoying each other's company in David's room. All of these moments I will never ever get back, what if I had been rushing to do stuff that didn't matter and missed these moments? <span style="background-color: white;"> Life goes by so fast but maybe we can just slow it down a touch, as difficult as it may be, and just enjoy the little things. Guess what time did slow down in these moments... the days got a little bit longer. Maybe life will actually last longer if we can remember to sloooooow down... slow and steady does win afterall ;)</span><br />
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So, let's try to let go of the clock, let go of the hurrying, let go of the rush and see what happens!<br />
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<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<b><i>Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:</i></b><b><i><span style="font-family: Cambria, serif;"></span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/2013/08/small-things-often/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Small Things Often</a></b>– Sarah from <a href="https://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Prenatal to Parenting</a> realizes the small moments are the ones that matter the most.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><a href="http://blog.theconnectionweshare.com/parenting-toddlers/spend-time-with-children" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Stop, Amy Stop.</a></b> Amy from <a href="http://blog.theconnectionweshare.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">The Connection We Share</a> accepts her family’s invitation to slow down and finds that life will not be "better" when items get crossed off to-do lists. Life is perfect, right now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><a href="http://www.kalemphoto.com/slow-down-peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-4" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Slow Down- Peaceful Parenting Challenge - Week 4</a></b> - Katrina from <a href="http://kalemphoto.com/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Kalem Photography</a> calls her week a complete failure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/parenting/slowing-down/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Slowing Down</a></b> – Ricky from Daddy Blogger says slowing down doesn’t come naturally.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><a href="http://memorymakerevents.ca/?page_id=941" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">A Work in Progress</a></b><b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> </span></b><b><span style="line-height: 18px;">–</span></b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> Verena from </span><a href="http://memorymakerevents.ca/?page_id=941" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Memory Maker Events</span></a><span style="line-height: 18px;"> builds in some time for herself.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/what-really-matters.html" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">What really matters</a></b><b><span style="line-height: 18px;">-</span></b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> Kathryn from </span><a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-1.html" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><span style="line-height: 18px;">Curiosity and the Kat</span></a><span style="line-height: 18px;"> realizes it</span> is the little things that matter and help to put our life into perspective<span style="line-height: 18px;">.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b><a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/2013/08/02/time-to-play/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank">Time to Play</a></b><b><span style="line-height: 18px;">-</span></b><span style="line-height: 18px;"> Michelle from </span><a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/week-1-suddenly-aware-of-all-this-anger/" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><span style="line-height: 18px;">My Peaceful Parenting</span></a><span style="line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-size: small;"> feels like a bit of a cheater. </span> </span></span></div>
Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-18460142185617642122013-07-26T10:33:00.000-07:002013-07-26T10:33:42.482-07:00Have a full mind? Try being mindful!<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Welcome
to the Peaceful Parenting Challenge Blog Carnival: Week #3- Practicing
Mindfulness <o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
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<i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">This
post was written for inclusion in the </span></i><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/194377624058103/?context=create"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">10 Week
Peaceful Parenting Challenge</span></i></a></span><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> Blog Carnival hosted by </span></i><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/"><i><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Prenatal to Parenting</span></i></a></span><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">. This week
our participants have written about Practicing Mindfulness. We hope you enjoy
this week’s posts and consider joining us next week when we share about a week
of Slowing Down.<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
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This week's challenge had us focusing on each moment of each day and embracing what it has to offer us. Being mindful is not difficult but remembering to be mindful and enjoy the moment can be. I have always been one to look forward to the excitement to come and can often be heard saying, "I can't wait for..." I can't help but be excited for something that is coming up but I really have to learn to be excited about my day to day activities as well. The reason this is so important is because if you spend your time waiting in excitement for something to come, then you miss out on the excitement of today! You will look back on it and wish that you had enjoyed those days a little more. Thus, being mindful comes in handy...<br />
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While practicing being mindful this week, I definitely discovered that my mind is FULL! I walk with my baby every morning after his breakfast while I enjoy my morning smoothie. It's a nice quiet time of my morning because he is happy to sit quietly and take in the sights from his stroller. This is my opportunity to practice being mindful; I focus my attention on all of my senses... the smell of the flowers and fresh air, the feel of the heat from the sun and the cool breeze, the sounds of the birds chirping, the winds blowing through the leaves of the trees and the cars that drive by once in a while, the beautiful colors that I see as I pass every home with beautiful gardens in their front yards, and the taste of my fresh smoothie made from fresh fruit and vegetables that nourishes my body. I enjoy this quiet moment of being mindful and allowing myself to be in the moment makes me very happy. My mind does wander and thinks about what I have to do later or what needs to be done in the future but I bring myself back to the moment. Walking with my baby, enjoying the quiet time, moments I will forever cherish when I look back. I feel as though I have mastered being mindful in those moments.<br />
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The challenges that I had during this week are twofold; the first is being mindful in moments that don't necessarily have nice feelings, tastes, smells, sounds and sights, so I try to look at the positive aspects as there are positive aspects in every situation. For example, when baby is crawling, climbing, touching and getting into everything in sight, you can chalk this up to him developing his brain through his curiosity. Eleanor Roosevelt said, "I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity." They say that a curious mind will be successful in school and in life. Well I think that is a pretty positive spin on a baby that is into everything, I could easily get stressed out and try to contain it to a small area, but I would only be inhibiting something amazing and I don't want to do that. <br />
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A baby is actually alot like a teenager... in the fact that their brains are developing at warp speed. Some areas of teenage brains are more mature than others which can result in making choices that may not be good decisions because they are based on motivational or emotional regions of the brain rather than good judgement or logic. Being mindful of this helps me interact with my teenager in a way that is productive for both of us; <b>meeting him where he is at, rather than trying to get him to meet me where I am</b> (let go of the expectation that your teenager is going to make sound decisions when necessary because they mentally cannot make rational decisions). I make it sound easy but it isn't. Being mindful when interacting with a teenager is probably the most difficult because they talk back and make you want to punch them in the face sometimes but you are the adult, you have to restrain yourself and your emotions because you are the role model for their future behaviour! AHH!! That fact alone (the fact of being a role model and not the fact that I can't punch him in the face... haha) brings me great stress because I know I have not always been the best role model for him, we have grown up together and I have spent alot of his life maturing myself! However, I can't dwell on the past and can only focus on the future. I still have many formative years with him that I can help him develop into a good, happy and successful person. He is a nice young man, but still a teenager that makes silly decisions sometimes. He will learn from these decisions and that is all I can really hope for. I focus on the things he is good at and try not to spend too much time dwelling on the things he isn't so good at but I do try to gently help him improve where needed. We can all use the skill of wanting to improve in areas of our lives that are weak... heck that is why I am in this Peaceful Parenting Challenge!<br />
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The other challenging part of being mindful is not thinking about the giant to do list that you have all the time. I found that the more mindful I tried to be (ie. living in the moment and not thinking about what needs to happen next or what needs to be done or something in the future), when I did take a moment to think about the things that I had to do, I had forgotten some things that needed to be done and/or I got overwhelmed because I hadn't been thinking about it. Thus, I discovered that while being mindful can be a great way to enjoy most of the day, there needs to be a balance and time set aside to work on the tasks on the to do list. I know getting tasks done and crossed off the list brings me a sense of accomplishment and being mindful in these moments can bring you happiness as well. <br />
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Overall, I would say that his challenge was great for me, it has help me recognize the goodness in every part of my day and also see that I need to balance this with my to do list. I have to make sure that I am not constantly looking forward to tomorrow and consciously try to live in today. When you live in tomorrow with a baby and a teenager, you can miss out on so many things that can bring you delight in your day. <br />
<br />
<b><i><span lang="EN-US">Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival
participants:</span></i></b><b><i><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></i></b><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/2013/07/no-need-to-sch%E2%80%A6le-mindfulness/"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">No Need To
Schedule Mindfulness</span></b></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">–
Sarah from </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="https://www.prenataltoparenting.com/"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Prenatal to
Parenting</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> discovers
mindfulness isn’t something she needs to make time for. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.strocel.com/living-in-the-present-moment/"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Living in
the Present Moment</span></b></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">
– Amber from </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.strocel.com/living-in-the-present-moment/"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">strocel.com</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> shares how she has been practicing presence.
<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/parenting/practicing-mindfulness/"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Practicing
Mindfulness</span></b></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> Ricky at </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Daddy
Blogger</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> takes his
wife on a date to </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/restaurants/dark-table/" target="_blank" title="Dark Table"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The Dark Table</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> restaurant in Kitsilano to practice
mindfulness. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.kalemphoto.com/being-mindful-peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-3"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Being
Mindful - Peaceful Parenting Challenge - Week 3</span></b></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> - Katrina from </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://kalemphoto.com/"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Kalem
Photography</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> finds her
way back to a good old habit. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://childrensdirectory.net/2013/07/week-3-practicing-mindfulness/"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Week #3- Practicing Mindfulness</span></b></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> – Jennifer from </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://childrensdirectory.net/directory/"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">The Children’s
Directory</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> discovers how </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">sometimes we
get so caught up in all the garbage that life dumps on us that we forget<br />
the little things that makes it all worth it.</span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6596511814662809518#editor/target=post;postID=6198500233211902421"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Week 3 - Mindfullness</span></b></a></span><b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">-</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Amanda from </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://babysignlanguagewithstickyhands.blogspot.ca/"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Family and
Baby Sign Language</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> harnesses her power to attract more
positive. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://memorymakerevents.ca/?page_id=941"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Lesson
Already Learned</span></b></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> </span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">– V<span class="gd">erena from </span></span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://memorymakerevents.ca/?page_id=941"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Memory Maker Events</span></a></span><span class="gd"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">
realizes she’s already learned mindfulness. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/mindfulness-of-self-week-3-peaceful.html"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Mindfulness of Self - Week 3: Peaceful Parenting</span></b></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> <span class="gd">- Kathryn from </span></span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-1.html"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Curiosity
and the Kat</span></a></span><span class="gd"><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> finds mindfulness exhausting. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Being in the
Now - Week #3 of the Peaceful Parenting Challenge, Mindfulness</span></b></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> - Michelle
from </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/week-1-suddenly-aware-of-all-this-anger/"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">My Peaceful
Parenting</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> finds true happiness in the moment. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
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<span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://lovelylolz.blogspot.com/2013/07/have-full-mind-try-being-mindful.html"><b><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Have a full mind? Try being mindful!</span></b></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> – Lolly
from </span><span lang="EN-US"><a href="http://lovelylolz.blogspot.ca/"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">My Journey
Home</span></a></span><span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> challenges herself to live in the moment and stop looking
forward. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-63885037511530470182013-07-19T11:00:00.000-07:002013-07-19T13:53:40.450-07:00Just Breathe<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-65f1818a-d08a-547f-d88e-a58b56586b04" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 5pt; margin-top: 5pt;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;">Welcome to the Peaceful Parenting Challenge Blog Carnival: Week #2 Breathe.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;">This post was written for inclusion in the </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/194377624058103/?context=create" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">10 Week Peaceful Parenting Challenge</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;"> Blog Carnival hosted by </span><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Prenatal to Parenting</span></a><span style="color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline;">. This week our participants have written about creating awareness. We hope you enjoy this week’s posts and consider joining us next week when we share about a week of Mindful Breathing.</span><br />
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This week's Peaceful Parenting challenge was pretty easy... to practice mindful breathing. Ha! Easier said than done, especially when you are travelling from one end of the country to the other. I feel like this week was more of a week one where I was still recognizing times where I was being triggered and getting angry or frustrated. Travelling with a very busy 9 month old can do that to a person! My first baby was not nearly as busy as my second; my first was happy to just sit and chill out, taking in the sights from a distance where my second wants to see, taste and touch everything he can reach. This has obviously threw me for a bit of a loop having had many years between babies to conveniently forget what babies are like but then add about 20X more energy to this baby. It's exhausting! As I spoke about in my last post, I had some expectations that he would be like my first baby and clearly all babies are different. This expectation had to be re-evaluated in order for me to enjoy my time with my littlest man.<br />
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My week long trip with my boys was anything but relaxing when you take a baby out of his comfort zone and put him into places that aren't necessarily baby proofed. I felt that I was constantly saying "No!", "Don't touch!" and "Danger!" the whole week. This stressed me out because you want their curious little minds to develop from their curiosity by touching, feeling, exploring and sometimes tasting their environments. If this can happen safely, then I just usually let him do it so I felt like I was hindering him from expanding his mind through exploration and discovery. He was also not as happy as he usually is, most likely because he wasn't allowed to explore as much and because he probably missed his Daddy who didn't come with us. After travelling back home on a 2-hour then 5-hour flight. I had time to reflect and resolved to embrace his busy and curious little mind by allowing him to explore his surroundings, as long as it's safe and take him out as much as possible for walks, baby groups and anywhere he can play without interruptions.<br />
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So while I still work on recognizing triggers, I also added the mindful breathing technique. We all breathe because we have to, its an unconscious necessity our body has to do to live. But have you ever sat and actually breathed and paid attention to your breath? Try it! Our challenge this week was to sit comfortably at least three times a day for 2-3 minutes and breathe in and out, paying attention to the breath. saying "in" and "out" as you breathe. The practice of mindful breathing can reduce stress and increase positive energy in your life. I have to say, only having done it for a few days... I already feel like I am less stressed and more positive. I am sure being home has helped too but the act of mindful breathing is definitely something I will add to my daily life to be able to enjoy my busy little baby and my day to day in a more positive light.<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/2013/07/teaching-my-sp%E2%80%A6deep-breathing/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Teaching My Spirited Son About Deep Breathing</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> – Sarah from </span><a href="https://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Prenatal to Parenting</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> shares some ways to teach kids about deep breathing. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/parenting/deep-breathing-challenge/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Deep Breathing Challenge</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Ricky at </span><a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Daddy Blogger</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> has been practicing and will be putting his deep breathing to the test on his family trip. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.kalemphoto.com/just-breathe-peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-2" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Just Breathe - Peaceful Parenting Challenge - Week 2</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - Katrina from </span><a href="http://kalemphoto.com/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kalem Photography</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> goes up against her incessant need to be busy. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.childrensdirectory.net/remember-to-breathe" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Remember to Breathe</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> – Jennifer from </span><a href="http://childrensdirectory.net/directory/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Children’s Directory</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> discovers how breathing can work with parents-in-laws, friends, partners, co-workers and annoying neighbours as well as children. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://babysignlanguagewithstickyhands.blogspot.com/2013/07/week-2-breathe.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Week 2 & Epic Fail</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> -Amanda from </span><a href="http://babysignlanguagewithstickyhands.blogspot.ca/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Family and Baby Sign Language</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> discovers how challenging it is to find a few minutes to herself. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://memorymakerevents.ca/?page_id=941" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Breathing On </span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> – Verena from </span><a href="http://memorymakerevents.ca/?page_id=941" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Memory Maker Events</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> talks the difference mindful breathing made in her busy days. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/epic-fail-peaceful-parenting-week-2.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Epic Fail -- Peaceful Parenting Week 2 Challenge 2: Breathe</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - Kathryn from </span><a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-1.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Curiosity and the Kat</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> wasn’t drawn to deep breathing. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/2013/07/18/deep-breaths/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Week #2 Peaceful Parenting Challenge</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> - Michelle from </span><a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/week-1-suddenly-aware-of-all-this-anger/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My Peaceful Parenting</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> models deep breathing for her sons. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-32993717558612254852013-07-12T11:00:00.000-07:002013-07-19T13:53:30.812-07:00The two faced Mom in search of Peace<div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-65f1818a-d08a-547f-d88e-a58b56586b04" style="line-height: 1; margin-bottom: 5pt; margin-top: 5pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Welcome to the Peaceful Parenting Challenge Blog Carnival: Week #1 Creating Awareness.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">This post was written for inclusion in the </span><a href="https://www.facebook.com/events/194377624058103/?context=create" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">10 Week Peaceful Parenting Challenge</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> Blog Carnival hosted by </span><a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Prenatal to Parenting</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">. This week our participants have written about creating awareness. We hope you enjoy this week’s posts and consider joining us next week when we share about a week of Mindful Breathing.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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Like most people, I wear many hats and have many faces. I have to change my outward emotions and expressions for each situation even if the inward emotions and expressions don't match. I often do this at work, with friends and acquaintances but how often do we change ourselves for our family, the people closest to us often take the brunt of our real emotions. How come we are able to mask what we are really feeling in certain situations and able to handle things much better than we can with the people we love the most?? Mostly because we are comfortable with them and we need to have someone in our lives that we can be real with and not have to worry about holding things in, right? Well, if you are going to care about controlling your emotions better with anyone... it should be the ones that you love and hold close to your heart... like my partner and children. The ones who will be near and dear to me for the rest of my life, I would like to think that the rest of my life is going to be happy and peaceful and I am going to teach my children to be happy and peaceful in the process.<br />
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Parenting two children that are 15 years apart can be a challenge! I have decided that I need to alter my expectations of parenting, I have parented my teenager for 15 years and the parenting style I have with him is quite different than the one needed for the baby. The movement of my curious little mind has decreased many things I have come to love in life. My independence is no longer, relaxation and reflection, what's that? Even the time I took to chat with people has been minimized. I don't want to see these as losses, but they are going to be different now and I have to learn to embrace the difference. I often have to switch back and forth from parenting a teenager to parenting a baby, this is where I often have difficulty because sometimes my frustration with my teenager can overshadow parenting my baby and vice versa... I need to find a balance. I need to learn how to be more mindful and aware of my own emotions before I can create an environment that everyone can be happy to be in. I strive to be happy and whole, to be a good role model for my kids but there are times that I catch myself in an intense emotional state in certain situations which I would like to change not only for myself, but for my children and the rest of the people within my environment. <br />
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Thus, I joined a "Peaceful Parenting Challenge" on facebook that I am hoping will help me to become... well... a more peaceful parent for both my children. This week was the first week, and the first challenge is Creating Awareness where we identify our triggers by writing down situations where we had an intense emotional reaction to something. I have to say, this was not easy for me this week as I was home for a couple days in the beginning and then flew to the East Coast for the remainder of the week. I didn't have any intense emotional reactions to anything other than the printer not working the way it should when I was trying to print off my boarding passes at home, this created great frustration for me as I have the expectation that when I want my technology to work, it will. I tried thinking of situations in the last couple weeks where I had intense emotional reactions and though there hasn't been many because I truly try to live a peaceful life already... the common trigger is my EXPECTATIONS. If I allow myself to have expectations, when they do not get fulfilled, it creates an emotional reaction within my brain and this transfers into my behavior. I already knew this, and know that having expectations of any day, any situation, any thing can end in disappointment creating sad, angry, resentment or frustrated emotions. The solution then is to not have any expectations! Easy! Right? Not as easy as you think, because having expectations can also induce happiness, excitedness and fulfillment, and who doesn't want those emotions!? Though if I can remember that we can also get these emotions when we don't have expectations, resulting in being delightfully amused by day to day surprises that we don't expect. It just seems to easy when you say it but I know it is not and I still have alot of work to do to. <br />
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So my goal for the next week is to be more aware of my emotions, hold back the reactions that the emotions create (especially for the ones I love) and to try not to carry too much expectations into my days. Thanks for joining me on this journey of becoming a more peaceful person, thus a more peaceful parent which will create peaceful children. Below you can find links to other blogs from parents who are also challenging themselves to become more peaceful. Enjoy!<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.prenataltoparenting.com/?p=215" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Balancing being a stay-at-home-mom & working from home</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> – Sarah from </span><a href="https://www.prenataltoparenting.com/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Prenatal to Parenting</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> realizes her home base business and mommy duties don’t mix well.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.strocel.com/my-top-card/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">My Top Card</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> - Amber from </span><a href="http://www.strocel.com/my-top-card/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Strocel.com</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> shares her experience attending the Peaceful Parenting Mini Retreat. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://www.kalemphoto.com/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-1" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Peaceful Parenting Challenge Week 1</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> - Katrina from </span><a href="http://kalemphoto.com/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Kalem Photography</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> explores her expectations on herself and asking for help. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://childrensdirectory.net/?p=18355" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Peaceful Parenting Challenge Week 1: Awareness</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> – Jennifer from </span><a href="http://childrensdirectory.net/directory/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">The Children’s Directory</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> talks about her frustrations over getting out the door and dinner time. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://memorymakerevents.ca/?page_id=941" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Emotional Highs and Lows of Parenting </span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">– Verena from </span><a href="http://memorymakerevents.ca/?page_id=941" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Memory Maker Events</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> talks about the emotional highs and lows of parenting.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-1.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Peaceful Parenting Challenge Week 1</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> - Kathryn from </span><a href="http://9lives-of-kat.blogspot.ca/2013/07/peaceful-parenting-challenge-week-1.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Curiosity and the Kat</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> is reminded about checking her “stuff” at the door before dealing with her twins. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://lovelylolz.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-two-faced-mom-in-search-of-peace.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">The Two Faced Mom in search of peace</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> - Loly from </span><a href="http://lovelylolz.blogspot.ca/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">My Journey Home</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> chats about expectations.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/week-1-suddenly-aware-of-all-this-anger/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Week #1 Suddenly aware of all this anger…</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">- Michelle from </span><a href="http://mypeacefulparenting.wordpress.com/2013/07/11/week-1-suddenly-aware-of-all-this-anger/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">My Peaceful Parenting</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> becomes aware of her anger.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
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<a href="http://babysignlanguagewithstickyhands.blogspot.com/2013/07/week-1-triggers-and-emotions.html" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Week 1 Triggers and Emotions</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> -</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Amanda from </span><a href="http://babysignlanguagewithstickyhands.blogspot.ca/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Family and Baby Sign Language</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> describes her physical response to intense emotions. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Calibri; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Ricky at </span><a href="http://daddyblogger.ca/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline;">Daddy Blogger</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> reflects on how peaceful the first year of his daughter’s life was and wonders where all that peace has gone. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Cambria; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"></span>Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-8036276076902709292013-07-05T11:34:00.000-07:002013-07-05T11:34:19.566-07:00Birthday reflections.. Yesterday was my 34th birthday... it was an amazing birthday, I am so so lucky to have the people I have in my life but also took some time to reflect on the things I need to improve upon or let go of...<br />
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The news of someone's passing was the first to be read on my facebook, so very sad it is to read that someone's loved one is gone, lost their life in a tragic accident. Reminds me much of my father's passing, a time that is so hard to think about when I was so young, a tragic accident took him away from us too. A few facebook posts later I read that a baby has been born, a baby girl, my little niece, Emileen, named after her Grandmother who too passed suddenly not that long ago.<br />
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While I celebrate my life and reflect the good, the bad, the ugly (though I try not to spend too much time thinking of the bad nor the ugly) in my short (and sometimes long) 34 years, I think about how short and precious life can be and want to share something I feel is an important lesson that I learned over the years.<br />
I am so very lucky to be in a very happy place in my life. I have an amazing partner to share it with, a teenage boy who can be such a pain in the butt sometimes but he's still my baby that I am so proud of for everything he is, a baby boy who is so darn curious, full of energy and wants to see, touch and taste the world, he is teaching me alot about myself that I didn't know yet. We share our home with our two teenage homestay students, one from China and one from Korea, who are both very nice young men enjoying their life here with hopes and dreams of continuing their studies in Canada for many years to come. Then there's our two dogs, who have graciously (ok maybe not so graciously) allowed a new baby to take over much of their territory in the house. <br />
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I know how lucky I am to be here, but it wasn't an easy journey as you know if you have read my earlier blog posts... which I know there is still much to share. Life can be very hard, but if you know how to deal with it, it does get easier. Every situation that you are presented with are there for a reason, for you to learn and grow from it. If every choice, decision, situation was easy... what would we know? Not a lot. Life throws lemons on purpose, we can either be sour and bitter about them, or we can take them, add some water and a little sugar to sweeten them up. It is really all in how you want to deal with it. Sometimes it is easier just to be sour and bitter, but in the long run... the negative energy will make life even more difficult. You can choose to be happy, choose the good, positive energy and this will help you get through anything. Really! It will... I promise. So next time you are in a situation that is difficult, try, just try to look at the positive side of things, embrace the lesson that the situation is teaching you and enjoy the fact that you have learned something new about yourself. Life gets easier the more you choose happy. So simple, yet so hard for some. But I know you can do it, and when everyone can do this, the world will be a much better place.<br />
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So while one life ended today and another began... remember that you are still very much alive right now and if it ended suddenly, would you be happy with your life so far? If not, go do something about it! Choose happy! Yes, it is a choice!<br />
<br />Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-39592259274106181512012-11-13T14:04:00.000-08:002012-11-13T14:45:50.699-08:00Welcoming Hunter<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Planning for a "normal" birthing time (AKA labour and delivery) is somewhat challenging, you have preferences of how and where you want to have a baby, whether or not you want drugs for pain, how you want the baby to be treated when they arrive, etc. I was planning what they call a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) because David was delivered through a cesarean section because I was told that was just how it had to be because he was breech and had no education around what my options were. For this pregnancy and delivery, I was determined to have it differently than the last and know what my options were ahead of time and make educated decisions on everything that comes up. We decided to take a Hypnobabies prenatal class to prepare us for the birth of our baby. Hypnobabies is a way of reprogramming our minds to think positive about birthing a baby and teaches us how to use self hypnosis relaxation techniques that will help to get through the birthing time. It's a little known fact that birthing babies is not easy, hence why it is called "labour", and this class better prepares you for the work that is ahead. It is wider known from stories you hear that birthing babies is very painful and this scares many of us women about what is to come. The unknown is scary, so hypnobabies helps to take the unknown out of the equation. I wanted to have a "normal" drug free VBAC, that was my preference but as with many things in life, it did not go as planned.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hunter Wilson Bennett joined us on September 25, 2012 at 7:52am after 32 hours of labour that started at 1am on Monday morning. It was a very long road for both myself and Clayton. He was 6 days late and weighed 9 pounds 7.5 ounces. He was not in a favorable position for birthing and my labour started out in my back that is known as "back labour" and got progressively more intense as the night went on. </span><br />
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Labouring at home went pretty well, we used hypnobabies techniques to relax and breathe through pressure waves (AKA contractions) however some waves were so intense that they made me vomit, I wasn't expecting that. Clayton helped by reading hypnobabies scripts, getting me to relax through each wave and timing them, he got me water and snacks. We stayed home until 6:30am when we decided to go to the hospital for an assessment. At 7:30am, they sent me home because I was only dilated 1cm and the baby was not in a good position. We went home and continued using relaxation techniques to try and breathe through the pressure in my back.</span><br />
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I got into the bathtub because it gave me a little break from the intensity of the pressure in my back but I think this slowed down any progress. Baby still wasn't moving from the position he was in from the beginning. We decided to head back to the hospital. I was assessed around 4:30pm and was dilated 3cm and baby had not moved. This news was very discouraging after 14.5 hours, however we got settled into our room and prepared for another long night. </span><br />
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Every other pressure wave was very intense in my back and I would have a short break in between. It was around this time that I was offered gas to take the edge off the pressure, I took the gas to see if it worked. It did take the edge off the smaller less intense ones however, not the more intense ones. It also helped regulate my breathing through them but I was getting very tired and on the verge of giving up. We had a hot bath that gave me a little break. My midwife suggested we try acupuncture to see if that would get baby to move, we thought we would give it a try and an acupuncturist that was also a doula came to the hospital to do some work. Some of the intensity was taken away by acupuncture but not totally which I was hoping it would.</span><br />
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Another assessment took place and I was around 4cm dilated, baby still had not changed his position. It was around 8:30pm, I had a good cry, talked to Clayton and decided that plans had to change and we discussed what our options were for pain management. My midwife, nurse and Clayton felt that I had given it a good go so far, I on the other hand felt like I was giving up and was feeling a little proud to turn to pain medication but didn't think I could go any further without it. I needed to rest and build up my stamina to push this baby out and Clayton also needed a rest, so we opted for the epidural. In the meantime, I was given a couple shots of fentenol until the anesthesiologist could get there. Once I was given the epidural, my water was broken, oxytocin was started and we were able to rest... I could still feel the back pressure waves but they were nowhere near as intense. </span><br />
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At midnight, my nurse went for her break and the relief nurse checked on my "blocks" before my nurse left. She thought that my epidural was too high up my chest and proceeded to turn down my epidural. My nurse told her that she talked to the anesthesiologist and not to turn it lower than 10. When my nurse returned, the pressure was returning in my back and due to oxytocin, were more intense than they were before the epidural started. Unfortunately, the relief nurse had turned the epidural too low and the freezing had went away on half of my body, including half of the cervix that was swollen on one side and dilated to about 8cm. Baby was finally in a better position but resting was not an option, the epidural was not working anymore and the nurse couldn't get it back to what it was. The anesthesiologist had to be called back to fix it. By the time it was somewhat regulated again, I was starting to feel pushy, my midwife arrived to assess and I began pushing around 6:30am. I felt everything that was happening, I got up in a squatting position and was given a birthing chair to sit on. The waves were intense and difficult to the point where I didn't want to do it anymore. I would get discouraged every wave because it would feel like he was coming out but the wave would end and he was not there. It was very hard for me to keep going, but at the same time I just wanted it to end. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hunter arrived at 7:52am and was immediately placed on my chest... I was so relieved to have him out and the next few minutes were a blur. Our relief and happiness that he was here turned to fear and sadness when our baby wasn't breathing on his own. The nurse pressed a button and we were warned alot of people were going to enter the room... about 8 nurses came in at once and took baby away to the big contraption in the corner. As one nurse took him, I saw he was a boy and told them his name was Hunter, the next couple minutes seemed like forever as the nurses helped him breathe on his own by giving him oxygen and massaging his chest. He started to cry and we were happy all over again that he was ok, he was brought back over to me and Clayton and I were crying tears of joy as we looked at our boy who was looking back at us. We were told he did have a heart beat, he just needed some help to take his first breath... I would never wish that on anyone, it was the scariest moment of my life fearing my baby boy was not going to breathe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, overall, I did get to have a VBAC, it was not how I "planned" it but it was all totally worth it no matter how haywire it went. Hunter is a beautiful little man that Clayton, David and I are so happy to have in our lives.</span>Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-43340217164272400472012-05-12T11:31:00.000-07:002012-05-12T11:31:40.369-07:00Happiness comes to those that waitNow I know that I haven't quite finished my story about being a young Mom and the struggles I went through being a young Mom to my boy... and in time, I am sure the words will come to me and I can finish the story but for now, I have a new story to share with you... my second pregnancy 14 years after the birth of my son... how exciting is that!? Even more exciting is that my baby is due on David's 15th birthday.<br />
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I am the first to admit that I was the biggest nay sayer when people asked if I was ever going to have any more children, you could hear me saying things like, "why would I start all over again now?" or "one is enough!" and it wasn't until I met Clayton that I reconsidered my decision. It turns out that it wasn't that I didn't <i>want </i>more children, it was that I didn't have the right person to share the joy of more children with and I sure as hell wasn't doing it alone again!<br />
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I met Clayton a little over a year ago at a party and fell madly in love with him the moment we met. It's a disgusting story that people (including me) would say never happens to anyone but for us, it is real and it forever changed my opinion about meeting that one person that you will "just know" when you meet them. He walked into the party and was preparing an appy that he had brought, I couldn't stop myself from going over and introducing myself, it was like a magnet sucking me in... haha... cheesy but true story! From that moment on the connection was so strong between us that people at the party that didn't know us thought we were a couple, it was a strange moment in my life. I had just spent a few fabulous days in Vegas on a "single girls" trip and was feeling pretty good about being single and wouldn't you know it, single-ness ended that weekend I met Clayton. I still say for all you single women (and men) out there, you have to love yourself and be happy with yourself before you ever love anyone else, these things really happen! We saw each other everyday until I left for a 24 day trip to Nova Scotia to spend Christmas holidays with my family. We spoke to each other every day through text, and we would call each other once in a while. The love was strong between us, even in the early days. I returned home and we resumed seeing each other every day... he would come see me at work, then come see me after work, I would hang out with his dogs while he was at work, he would eventually move in with David to stay with him while I was away in Victoria training for my new job as a social worker, then he and the dogs officially moved in with us. It wasn't long after that we were trying for a baby... a very exciting adventure to start yet another new chapter in life.<br />
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So now here I am, 22 weeks pregnant with my second baby. 14 years after the first... wow... it's pretty amazing how much you forget about growing a little person in your body, mind you... if we think back, I had just found out I was pregnant with David 3 weeks ago and it was still sinking in. I don't know how I didn't know, my body must have been very different then because the first few months of this pregnancy made it very obvious that I was pregnant. I couldn't BELIEVE how tired I was, all I wanted to do was sleep... thinking back to David, I am pretty sure that's all I did then too when I wasn't out partying. I wasn't sick, but didn't have an appetite and actually lost about 12 pounds in the first few months. Then I got a sinus infection that lasted a month, then the headaches... oh my god the headaches were the worst. Crazy how much your body changes over time. Around 17 weeks I started to feel better, sinus infection went away, headaches eventually subsided and my appetite came back, though I still can't have hamburgers or any meat that is just by itself. I caught a cold last week and that is slowly making it's way out too.<br />
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We just had our second ultrasound and baby is growing wonderfully, he/she is healthy and happy, we don't want to find out the gender because we are looking forward to one of the only surprises left in natural life. People try to guess based on heart rates, the way my belly sits, etc but I don't really know... it changes from day to day whether I think it's a girl or a boy. Turns out they didn't want us to know anyway because the ultrasound technician said baby was covering his or her mid parts for the whole scan. <br />
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I think it is mind blowing that we female humans can grow another human inside our body and how quickly it turns from a tiny little cell into a baby... totally amazing don't you think!? Mind you there are days that I am feeling anxious and wanting baby to come out already, but then I take a few deep breaths and try to enjoy the process. I can't wait until he or she is born, I am so excited to be able to focus on my family for once and be able to enjoy pregnancy and our baby, this is why they tell you to wait when you are younger, this is what my brother was talking about when I was pregnant with David. Like anything else in life, you need to be in a stable place mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically (and financially helps but not necessarily) to truly enjoy things that come your way, and I am so so looking forward to this. David is a huge part of my journey though, obviously if it wasn't for him, I may not have gotten the motivation to get my ass in gear and I did enjoy his childhood, but I was also juggling going back to high school, university and trying to find my place in this big world while trying to be the best mother I could be to him. It wasn't until a few years ago when I was able to slow down with the career building and be in a place that we were comfortable to just be, be with each other, enjoy our time together and enjoy our time apart. David is an amazing young man, I am very lucky to have him in my life and he is the most solid piece of evidence I have that things really happen for a reason. He is going to be a great big brother and great helper for Mom. Clayton will be an amazing father, I know this because he already is to David and I am just tickled pink to be so lucky to have David, Clayton and this new little one in my life... happiness really does come to those that wait...<br />
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All my relations :)<br />
<br />Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-6796577414176797622012-02-12T11:14:00.000-08:002012-02-12T11:14:22.596-08:00Spirit of a ManI have been thinking alot about my father lately... so he has inspired me to write today. I don't know what I am going to write about but it's a nice quiet Sunday morning and it's been a while since I wrote anything so let's see what I come up with...<br />
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I thought of you today, just as I do everyday<br />
I thought about the times when we would go out on adventures, seemingly leaving our cares behind. I remembered a time that we were driving home in the night and we saw a great light in the sky, you turned to me with a smile and said, "what could that be in the sky ahead?" I was intrigued to explore but it was close to bedtime, you said, "it's ok, it will only take a minute". I watched the wonderment in your eyes and I remember it making me feel so excited... it wasn't until later that I realized what that was but at the time I could barely sit in my seat because the anticipation of what we were going to find was too much to bare. I thank your wonderful spirit for sharing the gift of adventure.<br />
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I thought of you today, just as I do everyday<br />
I thought about the times when I would fall asleep on the couch watching TV with you and I would pretend to stay asleep when you reached around me, picked me up and carried me to my bed. My eyes would be closed and I would keep my body limp so you wouldn't think I was awake and make me walk to my bed. Your warmth and strength to carry me to bed, lay me down, and tuck my blankets over my little body made me feel so loved and cared for as you kissed my cheek and said you loved me even though you thought I was asleep. You would turn and walk to the door, before turning back and checking on me. I would quietly say that I loved you too as you shut the door. I thank your wonderful spirit for sharing the gift of love and kindness.<br />
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I thought of you today, just as I do everyday<br />
I thought about the times we would go fishing together, we would drive all over the place looking for the off beaten path that leads us to fishing creeks and holes that have rarely been fished. You pull up, park and smile and say, "I feel good about this one!" as you got out of the car, got your gear and we both trekked down to the water together. I watched you with amazement and hoped that you were going to catch something to make you smile even more. You would cast off your line and take a seat or sometimes you would stand. If you didn't get any nibbles after the first few casts, you would pack your gear up and say, "I guess this wasn't the one!" You didn't give up as we carried on driving from water hole to water hole not catching a thing half the time until dark came and it was time to go home. You would still be happy even if you didn't catch anything because you enjoyed the adventure of finding a fishing hole and giving it a try. I thank your wonderful spirit for sharing the gift of never giving up and always smiling even if things don't go your way.<br />
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I thought of you today, just as I do everyday<br />
I thought about the times I would go to work with you when you were on call on the weekends. I would get to walk around the mine right behind you while you were checking whatever it was you were checking. We would go to your office and you would let me sit in your chair and color while you worked on whatever you were working on. I felt important being in your chair and remember thinking, someday I would have a chair and a desk and be important just like you were. I would color you a picture and give it to you and then watch you smile at it, then proudly put it on your bulletin board for everyone to see on Monday. I thank your wonderful spirit for sharing the gift of being proud of my accomplishments no matter how big or small.<br />
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I thought of you today, just as I do everyday<br />
I thought about the times you would wake me up on a Sunday morning and tell me that we were going for a drive. I would grab my blanket and a couple of toys to bring with me as I crawled in the backseat of the car and prepared for another long drive to where ever you decided we would end up that day. I remember hating long drives and always getting car sick so most of the time I would just sleep. You would wake me up to ask me what I wanted from Tim Horton's and my answer was always the same, but you always checked just in case I changed my mind that day. We would end up somewhere beautiful on the ocean or in the forest. I thank your wonderful spirit for the gift of appreciating mother earth and all she has to offer.<br />
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I thought of you today, just as I do everyday<br />
I thought about the dark times we had in Venezuela when I would hate to see you come home and cause the pain in my mother's eyes. I would try to ignore the fact that you were not totally with us at this time and try to make the best of the situation not only for myself but for my mother who was hurting so much. I didn't see your smile anymore and wondered where you had gone. You had lost your adventure, your kindness, your smile, your pride, yourself. I was mourning the loss of the spirit of the man that had taught me so much and wished that you would just come back to us. It wasn't until we left that you realized what you lost, you were going to find yourself again and I am sure you would have come back to us but Creator had other plans for you. I thank your wonderful spirit for sharing the gift of pain and hurt and most of all, forgiveness.<br />
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I thought of today, just as I do everyday<br />
I thought about the times that I feel you with me, listening to my worries and making sure I know you are there for me. I think about all the great things you have taught me and wonder if I have made you proud throughout the years. It's been almost 18 years since you left us, I can't believe it's been so long... so many things have happened in my life since then that may not have happened had I not experienced your teachings in life and in death. I know you are proud of me, and my brothers too. I continue to feel your strength, warmth, love, kindness and your smile as your spirit sits beside me through every happy and sad moment in my life. I thank your wonderful spirit for carrying on in me and in my boy who carries your name. I love you very much Daddy and will never forget these teachings from such a wonderful spirit of a man.Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-83904586990568369632011-09-22T09:20:00.000-07:002011-09-22T09:20:40.430-07:00My apologies, it has been far too long since I wrote a post... to be honest, the words are not coming to me... my life experiences and stories are all jumbled in my head and sometimes it is hard to get it out, maybe it's my subconscious telling me to slow down the story, now may not be the time to tell it. It is a very personal story that I know I am taking a risk by sharing it with the world but the reason I do it always overpowers any conflicts I may have about telling it... the fact that I could reach out, shape my words into a hand and help someone up off their knees because they feel the pain that I have felt or have faced the challenges I have faced. If my words, so simple yet so complicated, can support even one person reading them to keep going for another day, another week, another month in the face of adversity... then they are so worth it. <br />
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I have been really busy lately with work and home life, it has been hard to find time outside of work, family and personal time. The summer comes to a quick and abrupt end as David goes back to school and we gained another family member in the house, my 17 year old nephew has moved in with us from Winnipeg who is also going to school. He reminds me a little of myself, he moved away from his friends and family to get a fresh start, finish school and re-prioritize... it takes alot of guts to do that, but us Olszowiec's seem to have those rock hard guts that keep us going :) He is a very quiet kind of guy, has a really nice smile when you see it and he loves his movies and games. David just turned 14 and he is a special young man, very sweet and funny (but only when HE wants to be or wants something... haha)... I am very blessed.<br />
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So funny to think back to this time last year, it was just me and D... since then my family has grown to include my amazing, super sweet hunny, Clayton, his two dogs, Duke and Bella and now my nephew... Bella and I are the only girls, but I think we hold down the fort pretty good... however, we may need to add another girl soon ;) Life and emotions change so quickly... it's almost impossible to give up because you just never know when things will change for you.<br />
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Always remember to never have any regrets because you can't change the past, learn from your mistakes and apologize where you need to but it's ok to politely take a stand for what you believe in. People come into your life for a reason, they may not be in your life for long or they may be there to the very end, either way you should always remember the great times and great teachings you get from them and smile, you are a much better person having had them in your life. I hope you all have a fabulous day and weekend ahead. I will try to be back soon.<br />
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All my relations :)Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-21262017661331694352011-08-13T10:57:00.000-07:002011-08-13T10:57:58.475-07:00Retiring my running shoesI went to a new chiropractor the other week and she was great, I told her all my problem areas; I had a car accident a few months ago that hurt my neck and shoulder and a baseball injury last year that hurt my ankle. My ankle has never been the same since my injury, I went running for the first time in a few months and the next day it was swollen. I tried running again two days later but it hurt so I didn't want to push it. That was the day I went to the chiropractor and got a bit of a lecture on why people shouldn't run, that long term studies show serious wear and tear on the joints.<br />
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I ran a marathon once in Maui, it was in September of 2008. I had never been much of a runner before that, but my son had run the kids marathon earlier that year and I came across Team In Training which is an organization that raises money for leukemia and lymphoma and provides support for you to raise money and train for a marathon. I was interested so I went to an information session. At the session, it was explained how it worked, I had to raise at least $5000 to run a marathon in Maui... what a great experience that would be! They have coaches to help you train for your marathon. So I checked the box that said "Maui Marathon" and when it asked for the "walk or run" option, I checked "run" and finally it asked "half or full" and I checked, "Full"... go big or go home, I thought to myself... I think I was a little too ambitious, as usual.<br />
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So I started training and fundraising right away, the fundraising was like having a part time job. I collected money, held pub nights with a raffle, 50/50 draw and silent auction, BBQs at the local grocery store, poker nights at my friend's places, etc. It took a really long time but eventually I made it just to over $5000, it was for a good cause and I thought about my friend I lost to cancer alot, especially when I was training. Running is not really that much fun.... haha... there is a point that you get to around 10km where you feel like you can conquer the world but it's really hard to get to that 10km... and I was due to run 42km... what was I thinking!? I just kept telling myself that people with cancer have to suffer alot more than I was when running, so it was worth all the aches, pains and blisters. As the marathon drew closer, I was getting nervous... I had only been running since mid-May and the marathon was in September... that's only 4 months to train for 42 km. I just hoped that I could finish it. I was struggling with my knee, it just wasn't cooperating... I had hoped it would not bother me too much.<br />
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September rolled around and I hopped on a plane bound for Maui with my running shoes and team I had been training with for the last four months. We were excited and I was nervous. I had never been to Hawaii before so I was pretty excited about that too. We landed in Hawaii and drove to our hotel, it was beautiful! We spent the evening preparing ourselves for the next couple days. We had one full day to ourselves, then marathon day and the next day we came home. On the day we had to ourselves, I went scuba diving... our hotel had their own equipment and dive instructors. It was amazing, I love scuba diving and can't wait til I am able to do more of it. It was a nice relaxing way to spend the afternoon before a full marathon.<br />
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In the morning, we were woken up by our coaches and piled onto a bus headed to a town which happened to be 42km away from the hotel, this is where the race started... it ran all along the coast and through a couple little villages before arriving at the finish line by the hotel. It was dark as we drove out there. I was nervous but excited too, my goal was to finish the race and that is what I was about to do.<br />
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The race started off great, I felt great... I ran with a smile on my face, taking in the beautiful sights of Maui... the first half of the marathon flew by like nothing and it seemed so easy... the second half... not so much, about halfway there was a steady incline up a hill on the coast, it was beautiful, but this is where my knee started to bother me... shit... alot of times I had to stop and walk for the next few kms. I found a stuffed batman on the side of the road and picked him up, he reminded me of strength. Strength I needed to dig deep into to finish this race with a really sore knee. Eventually the hill started going down, running downhill is nicer but when your knee bothers you it makes it worse. I ended up walking alot of the second half of the marathon. I was pretty much ready to give up about 3/4 of the way there when my coach showed up on the side of the street cheering me on... he said I was the last one on our team to come by him so he ran with me. Coach Ray and batman helped me finish the race that day... I crossed the finish line after 6 hours! I was so proud of myself to have finished the marathon, what an accomplishment. I cried as I crossed the line, it was one of the best feelings in the world :)<br />
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After coming home and having a long rest for my knee, I continued running... I became a mentor for Team In Training and mentored a group of fundraisers for the BMO Half Marathon in Vancouver in May 2009. It was fun and I ran the half marathon with no problems and finished just after 2 hours. It was my personal best and it was at this point that I decided that I didn't really like to run and retired my running shoes for the first time. <br />
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Fast forward to the summer of 2010, I was running from second base to third base when some idiot in the left field tried to throw me out at third but instead of throwing it to the third baseman, he threw it at me, as hard as he could and it hit my ankle hard enough that it flipped me over in mid air and I landed on my ass. Someone picked me up and the pain hit me. I threw my helmet and walked as far away as I could because I could feel the tears ready to flow. It swelled up pretty good and I thought it was broken, I spent the next day in the ER but they said it was too swollen to tell if it was broken. I couldn't drive because it was my clutch foot and I could barely walk on it... I missed a week of work and it took alot longer than that to heal completely, in fact it still hasn't healed completely. During this time, all I wanted to do was run... I longed for the day I could put my sneakers on and run.<br />
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In September 2010, I felt pretty good about running so that's what I did... I ran every morning, I had a 5k loop that I ran every morning and every morning I tried to make the time shorter... by November, I had 5k down to 19 minutes, I lost like 20 pounds and felt so strong until my stupid knee started bothering me again. I had to cut down on the running. It wasn't until I met with my chiropractor when I really decided it was time to stop altogether. So, she said I could swim, do yoga and powerwalk... they have all the same benefits as running without the wear and tear... so I hung up my running shoes. It was a good "run", thanks for the fun!<br />
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All my relations :)Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-3896763604284100522011-07-19T21:22:00.000-07:002011-07-19T21:22:00.250-07:00My new life as a young Mom...I started off breastfeeding David but if you ever find a Mom that said it was pleasant, I call bullshit... it was far from a pleasant experience for me... I was 18 years old and too embarrassed to feed my child in front of anyone so I would go to my room for privacy and after a couple weeks, it was not convenient and it just hurt too much to keep doing it. I had a health nurse that attended my house once a week to check on me and David. She said if I absolutely had to stop then I would have to buy formula for him... I didn't care, I was done with the breastfeeding. So David moved onto formula. He didn't like it, well I guess he liked it well enough but it didn't like him... he got really gassy and cried alot, I noticed after a while that he was getting constipated too. I asked the health nurse what I should do and she told me to try him on lactose free formula to see if it made a difference and holy cow, he was a totally different baby who had a much easier time feeding. So it turns out my boy is lactose intolerant, I suppose there are alot worse things he could have had so I will live with that.<br />
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My Mom had suggested that I stay home for a year with David before going back to school, I was ok with that suggestion because I actually wasn't sure if I was going to go back to school or not. I didn't actually have any plans at that moment in time, all I could focus on was one day at a time and this little person that I was responsible for all by myself. My Mom used my inheritance to help me financially for a few months, she sent me money every month for my rent and bills. <br />
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I tried to carry on with the same lifestyle I had previous to having David which involved friends, boys, drinking and partying, not quite as much because I had to find a babysitter whenever I wanted to do that AND I had to pay them!! For someone who was living off their Mom, I didn't have this kind of extra money. I was lucky to have support from friends and their Moms who always liked to have David come visit or stay over... or at least I think they liked it... haha... I admit that there may have been times that they begrudgingly said yes even if they had plans. I guess because he was just so darn cute! <br />
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It wasn't long before I realized that living off my Mom wasn't the ideal situation to be in, she lived in a different province altogether and she was paying my rent and bills. I had to figure something out... but what?Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-20247032474676546982011-07-12T22:49:00.000-07:002011-07-12T22:49:26.358-07:001997... a year of gains and losses... (Part 3)My Mom and I arrived at the hospital early in the morning on September 19th, 1997. My best friend was also going to be present for the birth of my son, this had to be the scariest day of my life. Not only was I going to be cut open, I was going to be a Mom. I was given an needle in my spine, I have never seen the size of the needle they put in there but I hear it's pretty big and scary so I am glad they didn't show me. This needle caused total loss of control and feeling from my chest to my toes... the doc asked me to move my legs and I couldn't... someone had to pick them up and move them. I was strapped to a gurney with both arms straight out on either side of me... the reason I was strapped down was so I didn't move since I was awake for the surgery, they placed a sheet across my chest so I couldn't see what they were doing which was a little nerve wracking since I couldn't see or feel anything they were doing. I kept having to ask my Mom if he was out yet and she would keep looking around the sheet and back at me saying he wasn't yet. <br />
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Then I heard the most beautiful sound that I have ever heard in my life, my baby boy crying... he was out of my belly and not very happy about it. I cried when I heard him crying and wanted to see him right away. They checked him out and wrapped him up before bringing him over to me, I wasn't able to hold him because they were still stitching me up and I couldn't move, so all I could do was look at him while my Mom held him in front of me... he was beautiful and I could not wait to give him his name. I had decided on his name very soon after I found out I was pregnant with a boy. I wanted to give him a name that honoured a very special man that I have ever had the pleasure of having in my life, so I named him David, after my Dad. I also wanted to honour my brothers so I added their middle names, Brian and Scott, Brian was also my Dad's middle name and the name he was called by his family. Most importantly, I wanted my son to carry on the Olszowiec name so he was given this as well... so my new little man's name was David Brian Scott Olszowiec, a little person with a big name who already meant so much in his first few minutes of life. <br />
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The year wasn't quite over yet... I had one more loss that I had to deal with. I came home with my baby and while most people have the pleasure of motherhood coming naturally to them, there are the select few where that does not come naturally and I was one of them. Keeping in mind, I was just 18 years old with a brand new baby... I now know it's normal to not have those motherly instincts right away but some people sure made me feel like I wasn't doing a very good job. Mom and her boyfriend had sold her house and were all set to go to Manitoba, she asked a couple times over the course of David's first two weeks if I wanted to come with her and I still declined the invitation... I couldn't bare to leave my life behind in Enfield. So, she packed up and left when David was just two weeks old, watching her drive away was almost as hard as saying good bye to my Dad and alot of people judged her for doing such a horrible thing to me (insert sarcasm here). I was sad for a couple days, but come hell or high water I was going to be a Mom to this little boy and I was going to be the best Mom I could be and believe it or not, I wasn't really that worried that my Mom wasn't around in body because I could always feel that her spirit was with me and David. As it turns out, I think it was the best thing she ever did for me.Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-19037124699993260122011-06-22T23:45:00.000-07:002013-08-02T23:51:29.741-07:001997... a year of gains and losses... (Part 2)So there I was, 17 years old, high school drop out, just lost one of my great friends to cancer, still hadn't dealt with the death of my own father and I was pregnant... not just any pregnant... half-way-through-my-pregnancy pregnant. <br />
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I don't know if you know anything about abortion, because I certainly didn't at the time and I didn't mention this before but my first thoughts when I saw a positive sign on the pregnancy test was that of abortion, simply because I saw it as an easy way out and I was a stupid naive teenage girl. My Mom won't like reading that part, sorry Mom. But, I am not against abortion and there are circumstances where abortion may be appropriate, I wouldn't choose to do it now if I had to make the same decision knowing what I know now. Anyway, there are limits to having abortions, there is a one day procedure that you can get up to 12 weeks pregnant and a two day procedure from 12-18 weeks pregnant and then that's it. So, in reflection... finding out I was pregnant at 19 weeks just means that my son was really meant to be in my life... the first solid bit of evidence in my life that everything happens for a reason.<br />
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Alright... so now what? Well I went back to my doctor, he was concerned about how far along I was and not being on any supplements and not having any prenatal care thus far. When he asked if Mom knew, I lied and said she did. He made a referral to the Maternity hospital for prenatal care right away. I went in as soon as they had an appointment available and I was eager to express my concerns for my baby because I had done alot of things during his first 19 weeks of life that you aren't supposed to do when you are pregnant. The prenatal nurse asked me what I had done and I was embarrassed to tell her; I had smoked cigarettes, drank alcohol, alot of alcohol, smoked pot, may have dropped LSD, was on the birth control pill, had xrays at the dentist, went on roller coasters in Disneyland, and got in a car accident... do I need to go on?? I was surprised that the prenatal nurse didn't really express as much concern as I had, in fact told me that I shouldn't worry and as long as I didn't do any of those things anymore, the baby will be fine and an ultrasound would show any abnormalities. Maybe she just didn't want me to stress out... I don't know... either way I got another ultrasound scheduled to check his well being.<br />
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I had other issues to worry about, I still hadn't told my Mom or my brother, a couple of my friends knew and it was only a matter of time before it got out but my boyfriend didn't know either... that was a whole other can of beans to open. I was so in love with my boyfriend at the time and had been for a couple years... he was super sweet and cute, older, had a truck and a job... all the things a 17 year old looks for in a boyfriend... lol. However, I had a big problem... when I counted the weeks back to conception, it landed on Christmas eve of 1996, unfortunately, my boyfriend and I were broken up at the time and that meant that he was not the father. Uh oh... not a good situation to be in for many reasons but mainly because I had to tell my boyfriend that I was in love with that I was not only pregnant but the baby wasn't his. How the hell was I going to do that without losing him? I carried on for a couple more weeks not telling anyone... Mom found out first.<br />
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The doctor called to remind me that I need to get blood work done before reaching 26 weeks and since I had lied and told him that Mom knew, he left the message with her and that is how she found out... I think he did it on purpose because he must have known I was lying. Mom called all over the place looking for me and when she found me, I picked up the phone, said hello and on the other end she screamed "Why didn't you tell me??" and at first I acted like I didn't know what she was talking about... she said, "You know what I am talking about, get your ass home right now" Immediately, I began to cry and told her I was scared. I hung up the phone and like a puppy with my tail between my legs, headed home. I can't really remember what happened when I got home but it was either that night or soon after that Mom told my brother and the three of us had a family "meeting" about what I was going to do. I was crying, and all I remember is my brother telling me that I should consider adoption because my life was going to be very hard if I kept him. By this time, I had already chosen to keep him and I felt like I really disappointed my family. Right in the middle of this meeting, the door bell rang and it was my boyfriend!! I opened the door in tears and he was worried about me, he asked if I was ok and I told him I was and asked him to wait upstairs for a minute... that must have been very awkward for him. My Mom, brother and I finished our chat and the last thing my brother said was to make sure I tell my boyfriend as soon as possible, he didn't know what I had to tell my boyfriend... yet. The thought had crossed my mind a few times that I could just not tell him the difference and how would he ever know... but I just couldn't do that to anyone involved, it would have been a huge lie to keep and one thing I learned from being raised a Catholic is that lying is wrong... especially something like that. So I had resolved to tell him, I just didn't know when... I was such a coward.<br />
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As it turns out, I didn't have to tell him either... my close friends knew and also knew that the baby wasn't his so since its a small town and loyalty between friends comes and goes... he found out from someone else. I never got a chance to explain, he didn't let me and just like that, it was over. I figured it was best but was mad at myself for not telling him before someone else did. At this point, I wasn't sure what was worse, him thinking that I cheated on him and got pregnant or the rest of the town thinking that I cheated on him and got pregnant. I cared alot about what everyone thought about me and well this was a good story to tell in our small town so I am sure it would spread around pretty quick. Another part of the interesting story... if it's not him, then who is the baby's father??<br />
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I knew who it was and I had told him at some point during all this craziness. He said he would do his best to support me but had lots of his own issues as a teenage boy so as people started finding out he was the father, he quickly turned to denial. I don't want to give him too much space here... he will come up again later... but as much as I dislike the decisions he made, a very small... and I mean tiny... part of me is grateful for the small part he played in creating my son.<br />
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Ok, so I was going to regular appointments, the baby was healthy according to the ultrasound, everyone knew and I was growing... I continued going out and chilling out with my friends and going to parties, just didn't do any of the drinking or drugs. I was always the sober driver. I liked being pregnant, I felt happy after all the crazy turmoil was over and couldn't wait to meet my son. I was nervous about being a parent and how I was going to do it, Mom was planning a move before she found out I was pregnant and had decided she was going to sell the house. She wanted me to come with her to Manitoba, but I wasn't interested... I wasn't ready to leave... yet. I think she still hoped I would change my mind once the baby came.<br />
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As September grew closer, I went for a final ultrasound to see how baby was doing and he was so big and cute inside my belly... well as cute as a baby can be through an ultrasound machine... but he was breech, he hadn't turned around yet to get ready to exit my body. As time went on, they kept checking if he turned yet and he hadn't, the doctor tried to move him from the outside of my body by standing over me and pushing on his head which really hurt. He didn't turn around and I was given the option to have him feet first and have the chance of the umbilical cord wrapping around his neck or a cesarean section... hmmm... I chose a cesarean and my baby was going to be born on September 19th. Mom had helped me move into my own apartment and fully furnished it with furniture from her house since she was moving. Now all we had to do was wait....<br />
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... to be continued...Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-66697837977677055402011-06-21T23:31:00.000-07:002011-06-21T23:31:56.759-07:00National Aboriginal Day 2011If you had asked me about what National Aboriginal day means last year or even earlier this year, I wouldn't have known what to tell you... while I am part Aboriginal on my Mom's side, all I knew about being Aboriginal was that I had this card that said I was a Status Indian which gave me privileges my non-native counterparts did not have like tax free purchases on or delivered to the reserve and a "sponsored" post secondary education. I don't know anything about Cree culture or traditions which I always thought was because my Mom married a non native man and I have never lived on a reserve. Up until this March 2011, I worked with people with developmental disabilities and could tell you alot about their history and challenges in today's society but I could not tell you much about Aboriginal people, late last year I decided it was time to change that.<br />
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I had gotten as far as I thought I was going to get in helping people with developmental disabilities, I was unhappy with the state of affairs in this province and the lack of available employment opportunities for people with developmental disabilities. I no longer worked directly with people which was a decision I made the year before because of the challenges I was facing at the community level so I took an opportunity where I could make changes at a global level. Unfortunately, the disconnect from the community level and red tape of the global level prevented me from enjoying the job to its fullest. There were aspects that I loved; the few times I got to work directly with people, networking, organizing and hosting international speakers and providing keynote speeches for businesses and of course, my coworkers were amazing people. However, over Christmas, I went home to NS for an extended Christmas vacation where I decided my time was up and it was time to move on and for whatever reason, I decided working with Aboriginal people is where I wanted to be. I had just met a wonderful person a couple weeks before leaving for Christmas vacation who also had Aboriginal ancestry and this had intrigued me as well.<br />
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After coming back home to BC, I started looking around at local Aboriginal organizations that could use my education, experience and skills and that is when I found a local Aboriginal organization that is delegated to provide family support and child protection services to Aboriginal children. They were hiring social workers, so after checking out their vision and mission on their website and the job description, I thought it was a perfect fit and applied. I was called for an interview for a Child Protection Social Worker, quickly prepared myself for it and was interviewed by three people at the organization. The interview went exceptionally well as I was being myself and just drew upon my experience with people with developmental disabilities to answer their questions. I was contacted within one week and conditionally offered a job depending on the results of my criminal record check and degree verification, I went into the office to fill out that paperwork. Another week went by before hearing from them again... they wanted to check my references which included my current supervisor. That meant I had to talk to her and tell her my intention to leave, which I did and she kindly provided a reference for me. I was offered a job and gave my two week notice.<br />
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I was nervous and excited to make the move, I started on March 14th and although it's only been a little over three months, I feel like it was the right move and I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I have been so lucky to learn about culture and tradition while getting paid. I have had a once in a lifetime opportunity through this work to do 8 weeks of classroom training that is culturally sensitive to Aboriginal people and guided by the Child, Family and Community Services Act and Aboriginal Operational and Practice Standards and Indicators. I honestly could not think of a better fit for my life right now.<br />
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So, with this fabulous experience, I still have alot to learn but I do know a little more about what it means to be Aboriginal and why I don't carry any of the Cree culture or traditions thanks to colonization and residential school systems. I plan on learning and sharing my teachings with my Mom whose culture was taken away from her. I also look forward to using these teachings to help families and children who continue to be affected by the government's acts of assimilation so many generations ago and in a way, continues to happen today. <br />
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But for today, we celebrate for the resiliency and strength of Aboriginal people in Canada, celebrate their culture and traditions and honor those who lived and thrived on this land thousands of years before any European descendant ever set foot in the sands of the coasts of Canada. Happy Aboriginal Day!Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-3482882659584894492011-06-21T08:04:00.000-07:002011-06-21T08:04:06.454-07:00Raised a Roman Catholic (Part 3)Okay so I don't feel right about walking away from this story just yet and leaving you in limbo... my Dad was a very well respected man who was brilliant AND cool... not very often you get that combo... but he was also human and made mistakes. Mistakes that we have all learned from and taken something away from. I believe we have all forgiven him for his infidelity and though it took many many years after his death for me to deal with it, I have always been proud to be his daughter.<br />
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We carried on living in Venezuela watching my Dad walk in and out of the house like it was nothing. Luckily for us, we made a few friends, Mom made a friend named Andrea a couple doors down where we often went for lemonade and canasta. I enjoyed watching the local boys play baseball in my backyard and made a friend from Tuscon, Arizona. Mom made Dad take us to church on Sundays which I guess she thought would make him right again. The church was beautiful, it had beautiful painted ceilings and large open windows so the birds could fly in and out. <br />
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One of the hardest things during this situation was spending time with Dad... I really wanted to because I missed him but felt like I was betraying my Mom too by somehow condoning his behavior.. especially when one day he took me to the local swimming pool to hang out with... you guessed it... his "friend" and her two kids. Words cannot even begin to explain the mixed feelings I had in this awkward moment when I realized who he was introducing me to... this man had to have gone nuts! I told Mom because I felt so guilty about it, she was sad and angry. One Sunday at church, my Mom and I were kneeling down to pray and she told me to go find my Dad because mass was about to start... I went down the aisle to the front door of the church where my Dad was laughing with that stupid woman, what was she doing there?? I was angry she was there, so angry I wanted to punch her. How could she show up at church when she knew damn well my Mom was going to be there. I went back to where my Mom was sitting and told her she was there... my Mom was praying and she looked up to look at her as she walked by... the woman turned and smiled at us... the most evil smirk I have ever seen on a woman's face, I will never ever forget that smile and all I could think was, what a bitch. Protection of my mother was very important during this time and I was so angry with her and my Dad for her presence. <br />
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It was shortly after this incident when I begged my Mom to go home to NS, I desperately wanted to get her out of there before Christmas and get her home to my brother who I knew would help me be there for her. She agreed and we planned to go home. We left Venezuela on December 9th... which proved to be one of the saddest days of my life, we said good bye to my father who, for the first time, acknowledged his mistake. He was losing what he had left of his family... the defeat showed in his body language as he stood in the window of the airport crying while we walked across the tarmac to the plane... I turned back several times as I sobbed uncontrollably to wave at my Dad. We boarded the plane and when I got to my seat and looked out the window, I could still see my defeated father with his head hanging low. I didn't know if I was ever going to see him again... and as it turns out, I never did see him alive again.Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-33239490753006394152011-06-21T07:14:00.000-07:002011-06-21T07:14:29.627-07:00Raised a Roman Catholic (Part 2)Before I carry on with this post, I just want to let readers know that these life events are being told to you for a reason, they are very personal stories of my life and some people might not like what they read but I feel they are significant events that challenged me and made me into the person I am today... I share them because even when you are faced with the worst moments of your life, there is always a bright side and always something you take away from it. Once again, I ask that you bear an open mind and refrain from judgments while reading, if you are not ready to do that, kindly carry on to the next blog :)<br />
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So there I was, 14 years old and had just experienced my first life changing event... I had lost my Dad, again.<br />
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Rewind to 1993, I lived in a large house in Milford, NS with my Mom, Dad and two brothers, actually I think my oldest brother was living in Manitoba at this time... he had moved out when I was 10 and he was 18. I don't think he could wait to move out and he moved really far away. Dad hadn't been working for a while because the mining industry was really slow and he spent alot of time at the church, helping with various groups there and praying for a job. Then his prayers were answered and he was offered a job in Venezuela, South America. He took the job and left in early 1993, Mom and I were to follow when school was finished, so we packed up the house and sold almost everything we owned, stored the rest and when school ended we moved out of Milford and into my Mom's friend's place in Stewiacke to wait to go to Venezuela... July passed... then August... then when September came, Dad still hadn't sent for us... school was starting again and so Mom thought I better start school, she didn't know why he wasn't sending for us but he just kept saying the house wasn't ready. October was there before we knew and Mom finally told him we had to come now, we were living out of suitcases just waiting... so on October 17th we left Nova Scotia, leaving behind my brothers, my friends and my boyfriend, not knowing when I was ever going to see them again... this was very sad for a 14 year old girl who's friends mean the world to her. We arrived in Venezuela on October 18th, I was so excited to see my Dad after many months of being apart but something was up, he just wasn't quite the same.<br />
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We drove from Caracas to a small gold mine town called El Callao, it seemed to take forever but I will never forget the beauty and smell of the land as we drove through the luscious green rain forest and small old towns. We drove through the town and passed through streets made of brick, many people and dogs milling about and it was hot. The buildings were old, some were falling apart and music played everywhere. It was, in its own way, a beautiful little town. We drove up a winding hilly road to a gate, the driver gave the security man a wave and opened the gate... we drove through and into a large subdivision I suppose, where every house looked exactly the same, they were long and horizontally parallel to the street. The houses were situated around a central baseball diamond and a couple of basketball courts, there was also a little restaurant on the corner. We pulled into one of the houses and unloaded, Dad brought us inside and showed us our new home. The door went through to a kitchen from the carport, the kitchen had a sliding glass door that opened up to a cement patio like place, the cement came up to my neck and the rest was covered by security bars so it was kind of like looking outside from jail. Through the kitchen the middle part of the house opened up to a large living room and dining area with a front wooden door and a back sliding glass door that backed onto the baseball diamond, the back patio wasn't as jail like... it actually had a door made up of bars that opened to the back yard, so you could see outside even when it was closed. To the left of the living room was a bathroom and my parent's bedroom, to the right was another bathroom, my bedroom and what Dad called the office where I was going to do my school work. I settled in and we got ready for dinner. Dad still wasn't himself.<br />
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The next day, I was moping around in my room, missing my friends and wondering why Dad was so weird the day before. My Mom asked me to come look at something, I came out of my room where she showed me a shirt that belonged to my Dad that was in the washer, with what appeared to be lipstick on it. How cliche, a collared shirt with lipstick on the collar... does that really happen in real life? Mom was sad, and I wanted to take that pain from her, I wanted more than anything for that bright pink mark not to be lipstick... Dad had some explaining to do. Keeping in mind that I am 14, this was way too much information for my little innocent-ish brain... could my all time hero in my life actually be committing the ultimate sin?? We would soon find out.<br />
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Dad came home from work and was confronted with very loud words that I couldn't really make out over the air conditioner in my room... I was scared... Mom came to my door crying and told me that my Dad had something to tell me... I came out of my room and looked at my Dad whose body language said it all. Mom tried to make him tell me, but he didn't need to... I already knew, I turned and went back into my room, closing the door behind me before bursting into tears. Suddenly everything made sense, why he took so long to send for us, why he acted strange when he picked us up and why he was weird at dinner last night. Dad left shortly after Mom confronted him and I tried my best to console her, all we had was each other, it was only our second day in a foreign country with no friends or family nearby and we had to get through this together. I suggested we go home and Mom said no, she was determined he would change and that he would love her again... I hoped she was right...<br />
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The next few weeks were difficult to say the least, we tried our best to act normal on the outside but on the inside there was turmoil... Dad would come home from work to have a shower, eat dinner with us and leave. I wouldn't see him again til the next day at dinner... every time he left, I watched my Mom die a little inside, I could hear her praying and crying at night all alone in her room, I would go to her and hold her and wish it all away. It was so heartbreaking for both of us yet we tried so hard to act normal... like everything was ok. Why was he doing this to my Mom? to me? to our family? Who was this man that I thought I knew? Who gave his life to his family and the church back home? What happened to him?<br />
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... to be continued...Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-42314651171175359142011-06-20T23:30:00.000-07:002011-06-20T23:30:15.440-07:001997... a year of gains and losses... (Part 1)So I will get back to that story below soon enough, but I wanted to fast forward to 1997... I was 17 years old for the first half of the year, in Grade 11 for second year in a row because partying was way more fun and it was the year my entire life as I knew it changed. First of all, my friends were my life during this time, we had so many fun times together but we were also struggling together. One of us was sick, and though she went into remission and she had seemed to have beat the beast inside her, it came back for another round and she ended up back in the hospital for more treatments. <br />
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Meanwhile, I found out through one simple phone call during a house party I was hosting (I hosted many a party at my mother's house while she was out or away) that I had another brother, one who was adopted as a baby in Manitoba and ended up in the US, Mom had never told us about him but he came to find us that year and I ended up talking to him for 2 hours that night on the phone. It was very exciting news and I couldn't wait to tell my Mom when she got home from her trip away. She was surprised that he had found us and even more surprised that I had talked to him for 2 hours on the phone... she was eager to call him too. So she did and subsequently, my Mom, two brothers and I flew to California to meet him, his wife and 6 month old daughter on March Break. I just remember looking at him thinking, wow, he looks just like us! We had a great time in California and even managed to squeeze in some time at Disneyland but my heart was still sore thinking about my friend.<br />
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When we came home from meeting my brother, our dear friend's 18th birthday party was held in the hospital so we all piled into our cars and headed into the city to celebrate with her, she was happy to have us all there with her but she was very tired.... that was her last "good" day and on April 16th, 1997, she passed away peacefully after one of the girls did her nails. I always say that she was the best of all of us that all hung out together, one of the most friendly, smart, non judgmental, funny and creative minds I have ever had the pleasure of knowing... she was truly beautiful inside and out... I and many others were sad to see her go. <br />
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I can't remember if it was before or after she passed that I was kicked out of high school because the vice principal at the time said I had missed too much school to continue... too many unexcused absences or something like that. He kicked a few of us out around the same time for the same reason... honestly, I think he took pleasure in it, he told me that "I would never amount to anything" which ended up being one of the most profound things anyone has ever said to me. At the time I just thought he was an asshole, in fact, I still kind of do. I didn't care this year, just like I didn't care the last year that I had managed to not get through Grade 11 for the second year in a row. I had more important things to worry about than school like friends, boys and partying... little did I know, there was more in store for me.<br />
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As my bestie and I were getting ready to attend our friend's funeral... I put on a shirt that I had just bought the month before in California and I just couldn't understand why it didn't fit, it was too small!! My best friend looked at me and said, "buddy, you're pregnant". Initially I was like... nah... I can't be pregnant, it's not possible! I didn't have any symptoms of being pregnant other than putting on a little bit of weight and even then, I just thought it was from eating too much. She persisted but we had to get to a funeral so we forgot about it for the moment. I don't remember much of the funeral because I had going on in my head... could I really be pregnant? I remember it being very sad, and though it reminded me of my Dad's funeral, it wasn't quite like that... it was more of a celebration of her life and you know what? I think that is a way better way to be sent off to the other side than the way the Roman Catholics do it. <br />
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My bestie persisted again the next day that I get a pregnancy test, I gave in even though I didn't believe that I was pregnant... sure enough, it said it was positive. I still did not believe that test and carried on as though I wasn't until I went to the doctor. The doc tested me again and he confirmed what I was so desperately trying to deny... I was pregnant... oh sheeeeit!! He directed me to lay down on the exam table and as he felt around my belly, he said he thought I was around 20 weeks along... 20 WEEKS!?!?! Impossible!!! He sent me in for an ultrasound right away. <br />
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The next few days are a blur so I am not sure if I went that day or within the next few, but I got my bestie and another friend to come with me to the ultrasound... still in denial that I was 20 weeks, I refused to look at the screen on the machine attached to a wand looking thing rubbing along my stomach, it was cold and kind of scary. I asked the technician if she could tell how far along I was, she said, "Yes, just need to take a few more measurements" and then after a short silence she said, "It looks like you are about 19 weeks". We were all stunned... I looked at the screen and saw a little person with hands and feet with fingers and toes... I could not believe what I was seeing. After a few moments of being in a stunned state, I asked if she could tell what sex the baby was. She asked if I was sure I wanted to know and with my affirmation said, "It's a boy!" <br />
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The ride home was a very quiet one with so many thoughts going through my 17 year old brain... what were my friends going to say? what about my Mom... or worse... what was my brother going to say? what was I going to say!? what was I going to do? how could this happen to me? what the HELL was I going to do? So many things crossed my mind about what I had been doing to my body for the last 19 weeks while a little baby boy was growing inside of me... was he going to be ok? During the first 19 weeks of his little life, I had already been the worst parent ever... was it possible that I could actually be a Mom? Or was I really never going to amount to anything?<br />
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... to be continued...Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2362377419028541693.post-70764758144292417272011-06-16T21:53:00.000-07:002011-06-16T21:53:12.401-07:00Raised a Roman... Catholic that is... (Part 1)When I was growing up, I was taught about God through the eyes of my Grandmother, Bessie and my father and of course, church every Sunday and Catechism every Tuesday... I was baptized, was given my first communion, first confession and even confirmed in grade 9... I went on further to baptize my son when he was three. What does that even mean? Apparently, it means that he won't go to hell if anything happens to him... I still don't quite understand what all the hubbub at church was about and if you asked me anything about the Catholic religion or the bible... I would tell you this story:<br />
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My Dad's parents were Roman Catholics who prayed everyday together and went to Mass every Sunday, may they both rest in peace, I hope their spirits are in their heaven with their God and they are smiling down on us today :) Naturally, my Dad thought (or so I think he thought) that it was best for us to learn about God too, just as he was taught when he was growing up... I believe that he felt it was his duty to teach us and then when we were old enough to decide what belief system or faith we wanted to be part of then, at least he had introduced us to his and his parent's faith. Ok... fair enough... if my Dad believed in God and Dad was my hero as a little girl then I was going to believe in God too and believed that if I committed sins that I would go to hell or pay for my sins for a very long time in something called Purgatory. This is very scary for a young girl to feel like "someone" was always watching and judging my behavior. As if this wasn't scary enough, my Dad was killed in a car accident when I was 14 years old... and with him, died my belief in God.<br />
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I was angry at God for taking my Dad away and it was when I started to question whether there was a God at all... the beginning of this misadventure was at his funeral in Roman Catholic fashion. First there was a "wake" where my father's lifeless wax like body was put on display for everyone and their dogs to see for the afternoon and evening before his funeral, as if this wasn't bad enough for a 14 year old girl who just lost the most important man in her life, we were also put on display so that everyone who came to pay their respects to the deceased and his family could see how sad and broken we were. My Dad was a pretty popular fellow and had many friends over the many years of his life so it felt like we were standing beside his open casket for days... and if I walked away for a break, somebody found me and sent me back... it was one of the worst experiences a little girl could ever have in her life. The next day was his funeral and wasn't near as terrible as the wake but it was still very sad. My Dad was gone, my Mom was broken and though us kids were broken too, we were staying strong for Mom just like I was told, you know what else I was told? That my Dad wasn't in heaven, he was in Purgatory paying for his sins. You tell me what a 14 year old is supposed to think about that...<br />
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...to be continued...Laureleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08458724637639656460noreply@blogger.com0